I Choose You
by TayChelle90
Summary: What if baby Noah had a sister out there that suddenly becomes a special victim and surprises her way into Olivia Benson's life?
1. Save You

It's 2 a.m. and they are still going at it. Lauren was sent to her room hours ago and since then all she's heard is her foster parents screaming at each other. Lauren is laying down in her bed; her comforter covering her body and face. She tries to block out the noise, but the walls are too thin. It's no secret that fist are being thrown. Her foster mother is covered with new bruises every morning and doesn't even bother to hide them. It's not like she leaves the house anymore. Lauren barely even goes to school, just so her foster mom doesn't have to be seen. Lauren's been here for almost a year now, and surprisingly, it's one of the better ones despite the yelling and hitting every night. She at least gets a meal at this one.

At ten years-old, Lauren Brooke Porter has been through some pretty horrific things that no little girl should ever have to go through. Before being put in the system at three years-old, Lauren was passed around through different kinds of unusual people, in and out of different states, until finally being put in the system after being found abandoned in a hospital in New York City with just a note with her name on it. No one ever claimed her, nor did anyone ever find the people that abused her. Abuse was definitely was and still is a factor in Lauren's life. She has yet to find a good home that didn't come with beatings, being starved, punishments, or sexual favors. Lauren can't even remember the last time she was able to truly be a kid. Since she was able to walk Lauren's been taking care of everyone around her. She learned to cook at four. She started walking to school as soon as she was able to go. She's been cleaning since she could walk. No one's ever taken care of Lauren, and Lauren isn't sure if that'll ever change.

Hours later at Mercy Hospital, Lieutenant Olivia Benson and Detective Amanda Rollins are walking down the hall with Doctor Matthews.

"Ten year old girl. Multiple bruising and scarring covering her body. She's malnourished. Seems, as if, she hasn't had a decent meal in years. Thankfully we caught this now because there may not have been a later." Dr. Matthews explains.

"Has she-" Olivia could never bring herself to say those dreadful words whenever it came to children in these cases.

Dr. Matthews nods her head, confirming. "Sadly, yes. Nothing too recent, but to my guess, it has been a constant factor in her life. We are running DNA right now to see if there are any matches out there."

They stop at Lauren's door and sneak a peek in the window at her lying in bed. An eleven year old who looks barely eight, Olivia thought. These cases are never easy.

"Has she said anything to anyone?" Amanda asks.

"She's very vocal." Dr. Matthews confirms. "Seems very grown and mature. You shouldn't have any issues with this one." She smirks. "We're going to keep her here for a few more days; try to bring her weight up."

"Thanks." Olivia smiles and looks back at Lauren as Dr. Matthews walks away.

"Ready?" Amanda asks.

"Am I ever?" Olivia shoots her a smile before walking into the hospital room. The detectives take notice at how exhausted and small Lauren looks as she lays in bed. A case that concerns a child is never easy no matter how many times you do it. Her brown hair comes down in waves to the middle of her back and her bright green eyes look up when she hears the door open. Olivia lets out a little gasp as she stared at Lauren. There's something familiar about her-like she's seen her before. "Hi, Lauren. I'm Lieutenant Olivia Benson and this is Detective Amanda Rollins. But you can just call us Olivia and Amanda." Lauren smiles slightly and nods.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Amanda asks. She stands off to the side of Lauren's bed as Olivia sits on the edge.

"I'm okay." Lauren says, softly.

"Sweetheart, do you want to tell us what happened last night?" Olivia asks cautiously.

Lauren looks down and begins playing with a loose thread from the blanket covering her. "My foster parents were fighting. And I guess they were really loud and neighbors called the police."

"Do you know what they were fighting about?" Amanda asks.

Lauren shrugs. "I'm not sure. When they start fighting, I cover my ears."

Olivia and Amanda glance at each other. "Do they fight often?"

"Yes." Lauren nods. "Every night."

"Lauren, have they ever hurt you in any way?" Olivia asks. They see a tear fall down Lauren's pale cheek. "It's okay, sweetie. You can tell us."

Lauren finally looks back up at them, clearly frightened. "I don't want to get them in trouble. I haven't been in a good foster home until now. Please don't make me go back to the group home." She cries.

Olivia bends down slightly, catching Lauren's eyes. She needed Lauren to see that she can trust her. "What makes them good, Lauren?"

Lauren looks at Amanda and Olivia, unsure if she can really trust them. She didn't want to go back to the group home. "I have a bed and they let me eat after I do my chores." Lauren shrugs.

"Well, that does sound good, but Lauren, do you understand why you are in the hospital?" Lauren looks back down and shrugs. "You have some bruising and you're very malnourished. Do you know what that means?" Lauren nods.

"And that also means that your foster parents have been hurting you." Amanda adds.

Lauren's head shoots up and she glares at the two women in front of her. "You don't know anything about me!" She practically yells. "I'm not going back to the group home! You can't make me!"

"Lauren-" Olivia goes to grab Lauren's hand, but she moves away.

"I don't want to talk anymore." Lauren tells them before turning her back to them.

Not wanting to push her, Olivia and Amanda walk out of the room, stopping in the hallway. "Visit to the home?" Amanda assumes.

"Let's go." Olivia says before they walk away.

At the home of Lauren's foster parents, Olivia and Amanda walk into the run down house. There's boxes of random things scattered thoughout every room.

"It's safe to say why she's always sick." Amanda says, looking around at the clutter.

Olivia walks into the kitchen and begins looking through the fridge, pantry, and cabinets. "There's barely any food. Who in the world does these visits and how has Lauren been here for a year?"

"Uh, Liv." Amanda calls out from one of the rooms.

Olivia follows her voice down the hallway and walks into the room Amanda is in. "Lauren's room?"

"If you call a cot in the corner of the room with junk surrounding her, then sure." Amanda says sarcastically, both sick at what they've walked into. They start looking through everything, but they already know that Lauren wasn't coming back. And they were also going to make sure the foster parents are arrested for their neglect. Olivia was going to make sure of it.

Later that night, Olivia called the hospital to check on Lauren. Lauren hadn't said a word since Olivia and Amanda left there hours ago. She fell asleep not too long ago and for some reason that made Olivia feel better. Just knowing Lauren is asleep, in a safe place, getting the treatment that she needs, made Olivia breathe a little better. She felt some sort of connection to the young girl the moment she layed eyes on her, though.

But with Lauren still on her mind, Olivia went home to spend time with her two year-old son Noah. The adoption became official last year, and Olivia has never felt happier. With everything the little boy has been through, he was still thriving as if nothing ever happened to him and Olivia couldn't be more grateful for his innocence and lack of memory.

While she sits on the couch, reading to her baby boy, there's a knock at the door. Olivia looks confused considering what time it is. Praying it isn't work, Olivia picks Noah up and walks over to the door, opening it.

"Melinda?" Olivia says, sounding surprised to see her friend who is an M.E. at her door.

"Hi, Olivia." Melinda says, as Olivia lets her inside.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Well, that's up to you." Olivia frowns, looking confused. "I got Lauren's DNA test back."

"Oh, did you find any matches?"

"I did actually. I brought over her file for you." Melinda says, handing the folder over to Olivia.

"That's great. Hopefully we can get in touch with them tomorrow morning." Olivia opens the file.

"Well, you already have." Melinda says, mysteriously.

Olivia squints in confusion before looking through Lauren's file. She gasps and looks back up at Melinda. "What?"

"She's Noah's sister."

Olivia looks back down at the file then at her two year-old son, who has now fallen asleep on her shoulder. "How is that even possible?"

"They're full blood siblings. Seems like the mother had more secrets than what she was sharing." Melinda says. "What it looks like in her file, though, Lauren never knew her parents. As soon as she was born, she was sent away, but not to a foster home. She didn't enter the system until she was three years-old. I think the mother gave her away to strangers before she was abandoned at a hospital here in New York. No one knows about what happened before then, but the scars and bruises they found pretty much gave it away."

Olivia was still in shock as she listened to Melinda. "Well, this explains why I felt a connection to her. I can't believe Noah has a sister."

"I figured you should know first. That's just a copy of her file, so don't worry about returning it." Before she walks out the door, Melinda turns back around to face Olivia who is still staring at the file she is holding. "Olivia, if you're feeling some sort of connection then there's a reason. Good luck."

Olivia looks up and gives Melinda a small smile. "Thank you for this, Melinda." Melinda nods and walks out, closing the door behind her. Olivia looks down at Noah, and can see Lauren in his face.

Well, Olivia thought she was going to be putting Noah to sleep and going to bed early herself, but no such thing. Now, she has a file to read and decisions to make. Knowing Noah has a sister changes everything.

Oliva stayed up half the night reading Lauren's file. In her ten years, Lauren has been through as much as an adult should never have to go through. But knowing that her son has a sister out there, she would never be able to live with herself if she let Lauren go especially if she let her go to another place that will hurt her. Noah has the right to know his sister and Lauren has the right to know her brother. There wasn't a question to what Olivia had to do.

As soon as Lucy, Olivia's nanny, showed up to watch Noah, Olivia's first stop on the way to the pricenct was the hospital. It was still early so Olivia stayed outside Lauren's room, looking through the window at the sleeping girl when Dr. Matthews walks up to her.

"Lietenant Benson, nice to see you here so early." She smiles.

Olivia takes a deep breath. "I coudn't get her off my mind."

"That's good to know. Anything on the foster parents yet?"

"They're still in custody. I'm confident they'll be there a long time." Olivia tells her. "How was she last night?"

Dr. Matthews sighs. "Not good. She woke up with a few nightmares. Seemed pretty common because she'd ignore the nurses and try to fall right back to sleep. I think she's been having these nightmares for a long time. We may never truly know what happened unless Lauren tells us. Good luck in there." Olivia nods as Dr. Matthews walks away.

She walks in quietly, careful not to wake Lauren up. Even in her sleep Lauren looks exhausted. Olivia pulls up a chair and sits down next to Lauren's bed. Within that second of sitting down and looking at Lauren's pale and exhausted face, Olivia already knew her answer.

Moments later, Olivia sits up when she sees Lauren's eyes start to open. Lauren wipes the sleep from eyes and squints through the blurriness at Olivia. The woman she met yesterday and the woman she thought she'd never see again.

"You're back." She says in a raspy voice. "Where's your friend?"

Olivia smirks. "I came by myself."

"Oh."

"I hear you had a rough night." Lauren shrugs. "Does that happen often?"

"Why are you here?" Lauren asks, ignoring Olivia's question.

"I came to check on you. Also, I went to your foster parents' home yesterday."

Lauren sits up. "Are my books still there?"

Olivia looks confused, but then remembers the stack of books she and Amanda found under Lauren's cot. "They are." She smiles. She sees Lauren let out a breath of relief. "Those are your books? They are some pretty big books for a little girl."

Lauren shrugs. "I like to read. Sometimes I don't go to school, so I try to make up for it." She explains.

"Why don't you go to school?"

"My foster parents didn't want to bring me. Sometimes my foster mom would have bruises and she didn't want anyone to see. I walked by myself for a long time until a teacher seen me and threatened my foster mom. She said I was too little to walk alone."

"She's right." Olivia agrees.

"Did you know people throw away books, like they're nothing. It isn't right."

"No, it isn't. But I will make sure myself that you get those books back."

Olivia could see that Lauren's mind is racing with questions to ask. She's curious to know which one will make it out of her mouth first. Lauren looks up and Olivia is a little surprised to see tears forming in her green eyes. "Please don't make me go to the group home. I know it's your job, but I can't go. I'll be good for my foster parents. I'll do everything they ask from me. I'll do my chores. I won't even read. Please, Olivia." Lauren begs, breaking Olivia's heart. "Please don't make me go there."

Olivia was speechless. Eventually when the silence became too much for Lauren to bare, she cried herself back to sleep. Olivia wanted to say so much. She wanted to tell Lauren everything, but she knew she couldn't until everything was written down on paper and a for sure thing.

After Lauren had fallen asleep, Olivia wiped the leftover tears from Lauren's face with her thumbs and placed a small kiss on top of the girl's head before heading out. But she wasn't going to precinct. No. She was going see Lauren's case worker.

Olivia went straight to family services after leaving the hospital. She found Lauren's case worker and explained everything. Surprisingly, Noah's case was well known around the office, but not knowing that he had a sister right under their noses confused them all. Lauren's case worker explained the difficulty Lauren has had since she came to them. She's a smart girl, but with missing school so much came with great difficulties. Her grades aren't where they should be for a sixth grader, and she's been in several fights with different kids at different schools. Lauren has broke her arm and her wrist numerous times. Her foster parents claiming she is just very clumsy, which she is, but not enough to break her arm and wrist numerous times within just a few months from eachother. Eventually, Lauren got out of those homes, but only to be put in others with the same issues. No one ever got a straight answer as to the things that have happened to Lauren inside all those houses. Doctor visits confirmed the sexual assaults that have happened to her throughout her ten years, but no one truly knows what exactly happened behind the scenes, and that wasn't something Lauren was willing to speak about; at least not right now.

Thanking God that she was already approved to foster, Oliva was able to get all the paperwork done, and if things turn out well, she won't have to wait a year to adopt Lauren like she did with Noah. If it wasn't for the laws, she would have signed the papers immediately. Now that she has officially become Lauren's foster parent, the biggest part now is telling Lauren. Olivia decided to wait until Lauren was out of the hospital before breaking the news to her.

Olivia needed Lauren to trust her, or well trust her enough before telling her that she has a two year-old brother and that she will be fostered by her brother's adoptive mother. Olivia updated Lauren's doctors on everything and Dr. Matthews didn't see any problem discharging Lauren a little early considering she is now being fostered by a lietenant from SVU and also someone who Dr. Matthews can already see cares so much about her.

At the precinct, Lauren walks in holding the hand of her case worker, Ashley. As soon as they come into view by the other detectives, Amanda is the first one to approach her. Olivia explained everything to them that morning, and they couldn't be happier for her. Surprised; but excited for Olivia and especially Noah and Lauren. They are both in a great home with a great mom there to protect them. They wouldn't be better anywhere else.

"Hi, Lauren. Do you remember me?" Amanda asks as she bends down in front of Lauren.

Lauren nods. "Amanda."

Amanda smiles. "That's right. Olivia is waiting for you in her office. How about I bring you and Ms. Ashley to her?" Lauren nods and they follow Amanda into Olivia's office. "Liv." Amanda calls out.

Olivia looks up from her paperwork and smiles when she sees Lauren. "Hey, Lauren." She stands up and walks over to them as Amanda excuses herself.

"Am I in trouble?" Lauren asks right away.

Olivia and Ashley laugh, lightly. "Not at all, sweetie."

"Olivia and I just need to discuss a few things with you, okay?" Ashley tells her.

"Let's take a seat." Olivia leads them to the couch in her office while she sits on the coffee table in front of them.

"Am I going back to the group home?" Lauren asks.

"Let's just talk first." Ashley says, as she brushes a few stray hairs out of Lauren's face.

Olivia takes a deep breath before she begins. "Lauren, do you ever think about your real parents?" She asks.

Lauren thinks for a moment and shrugs. "Sometimes."

"Really? What do you think about?"

"Um, I think about what they look like. If they're dead. Or if they really wanted me, but died before they could take care of me so that's why I had to go away. Maybe I have a brother or sister. I don't know."

"Well, that's a lot to think about." Olivia says, a bit surprised. Lauren just shrugs, looking embarrassed. Olivia stands up and grabs the picture of Noah off her desk before sitting back down. She shows Lauren the picture. "Lauren, this is my little boy Noah. I adopted him last year."

Lauren looks surprised as she stares at the picture. "Really? He looks really happy."

"I like to think that he is." Olivia smiles.

"Lauren, Noah came from the same place you did." Ashley tells her.

"What do you mean?" She asks, looking confused.

"Well, I found Noah when he was just a few months old and living with some pretty bad people. I took him in and decided that I wanted to keep him, so I made everything official. Now, when I came to you in the hospital, I felt something familiar." Olivia explains. "Do you remember when the nurse took all that blood from your arm?" Lauren nods. "Well, your blood helped us find out a little more about you and where you come from."

"I was left with bad people, too?" Lauren asks.

Olivia nods slightly. "We think so." She says, softly. "Because your blood matches with-" Olivia picks up Noah's picture. "-his. Which explains why I felt something familiar. Noah is your little brother, sweetheart." Lauren stares wide-eyed at the photo, letting the tears she's been holding back fall down her red cheeks.

"Lauren?" Ashley questions.

"They just gave him away, too?" Lauren asks, still looking at Noah's picture. "Why didn't they want us? What was wrong with us? Are they bad people, too?" Lauren asks, crying harder. She looks up at Olivia and Olivia could just see a little girl wanting answers, and those were answers she deserved to get.

Olivia looks at Ashley, who simply nods, giving her permission to explain everything. "Lauren, I met your parents when I first found Noah. I arrested your father and put him in jail. He was not a very good man. Later, I then found your mother and she was starting to get her life back in order so that she could raise Noah, but she died before she even got the chance."

"He killed her?" Lauren asks.

Olivia sighs, knowing this is too much for Lauren, but it was now or never. "He got someone else to. But, Lauren, I need you to understand that though you came from some pretty messed up people, you need to remember that your mother was trying to get herself better."

Lauren scoffs. "But she wasn't getting better for me. She was ten years too late." Lauren says, sounding a little too grown for both womens' liking. "She was trying for him." She says, pointing to Noah's picture. "She forgot all about me. No one would have ever known anything about me if it wasn't for my foster parents. No one wanted me. They just kept giving me away." She cries.

Olivia gets on her knees, in front of Lauren, and lifts the little girl's chin to look at her. "What if I wanted you?"

Lauren rolls her eyes as more tears escape. "You don't even know me."

"But I want to. I want to know everything about you, Lauren. You deserve someone who can take care of you and love you. And you deserve to know your little brother and he deserves to know his big sister. I told him about you." Olivia smirks as Lauren cries harder at the thought of her brother.

"Really?"

"Really. Would you like to meet him? He's in the next room." Lauren nods and grabs Olivia's hand, following her into the next room linked to Olivia's office. When they walk in, Noah is sitting on the floor playing with his toys. Lucy, their nanny stands up and walks over to them. "Lauren, this is Lucy. She helps me take care of Noah when I'm at work."

"Hey, Lauren." Lucy smiles.

"Hi." Lauren says, shyly.

Olivia walks over and kneels down next to Noah, placing a kiss on top of his head. "Hey, little man. I want you to meet your big sister Lauren. Lauren this is Noah."

"Hi, Noah." Lauren sits down next to him.

Noah grabs a book and hands it to Lauren. "Looks like he wants you to read to him." Olivia tells her with a smile.

Lauren smirks. "I can do that."

While she begins to read, Noah sits next to her, listening intently to his sister read to him, leaning closely. Olivia walks over to where Ashley and Lucy are watching. "Looks like they love each other already." Ashley tells her.

Olivia chokes back her tears as she smiles proudly at the two children in front of her. Just like with Noah, Olivia already loves Lauren, and hopes that Lauren will be able to feel just the same soon. She wouldn't be able to see her life with the little girl who stole the other part of her heart. 


	2. One Step At A Time

A lot has happened in one day. Lauren met her little brother that she didn't know existed. They took a very quick liking to one another. Olivia could sense a sudden form of protection Lauren now felt towards Noah. And Olivia felt a sudden form of protection for the both of them. She suddenly couldn't see her future without Lauren being apart of it and couldn't be happier that she was taking her home. Though, the extra room in the apartment wasn't set up for a kid, Olivia made sure to get bookshelves in there first and foremost for all of Lauren's books, and throw some paint and other things to make it Lauren's room later on.

Lauren has been in many homes the last ten years of her life. A few of them she doesn't want to remember, but her brain refuses to let her forget, so being in another home was just like any other time for her. Olivia was desperate to prove to Lauren how different this time would be for her.

After spending a coupe more hours at the precinct, Olivia was able to bring them home. She and Ashley had to discuss a few things and fill out more paperwork before they were able to leave. But as soon as they were finished, Ashley gave what little clothing Lauren had with her to Olivia, she relieved Lucy, and brought both kids home with her. Everything had gone well. Olivia showed Lauren around, made them dinner. Lauren didn't talk unless Olivia was asking her something. Olivia knew that there were many rules Lauren had to follow growing up in several of those homes. Rules that Olivia was determined to break. It seems that, among many others, speaking unless spoken to was one of them.

When it came time to get ready for bed, Lauren helped Olivia bathe Noah. Lauren even cracked a smile when Noah splashed her with water, making Olivia sigh happily as she watched the two interact. She knew being siblings, the two were going to have their many battles, but in their short time watching them spend one on one time with one another, Olivia could tell they were going to be best friends despite the age difference.

While Olivia put Noah to bed, Lauren went to get ready for bed herself. She showered, and for the first time actually felt cleaner than she ever did. Some of the homes she's been in rarely had clean water, so sometimes Lauren didn't bathe because there was no point. Lauren could already tell, though, that Olivia's apartment is nothing like any other home she's ever been in. But that doesn't mean she feels different about the situation. She doesn't know Olivia, though she seems nice, people change. That's something Lauren was used to.

As Lauren settled into bed, Olivia strolled in with a small smile on her face, as she sat on the edge of the bed. She explained to Lauren that she's right across the hall if she needs anything. To not be afraid to need her, but Lauren simply nodded and turned her back. Olivia knew this was all going to take some time to get used to for the both of them. It won't always be easy. Later that night proved her right.

Olivia jumped up from her sleep. She could hear screaming coming from across the hall. She jumps out of her bed and runs into Lauren's room. Lauren is still laying in bed, but she is kicking and covering her ears while she yells and cries.

"Lauren." Olivia says in a panic. "Lauren!" Olivia runs over to Lauren and removes the covers. She grabs ahold of Lauren's legs to stop her from kicking. "Lauren! Wake up, sweetheart!" Lauren opens her eyes and sits up, out of breath, tears streaming down her face. "Hey, you're okay. It's okay." Olivia repeats as she brushes Lauren's hair out of her face.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lauren repeats over and over again. She tries to back herself into the wall behind her, shielding her face. Olivia's heart was breaking into pieces as she watches Lauren hide herself from her as if Olivia is going to hit her. So used to it happening all her life. "I'm sorry." She continues to cry.

Olivia reaches her arms out and gently touches Lauren on her arms, feeling her flinch under her touch. "Lauren. Sweetheart, it's Olivia. You're safe here, remember? No one is going to hurt you." Lauren slowly moves her arms away from her face. "There ya go." Olivia smiles. "No one is going to hurt you. You're safe here."

"Olivia?" Lauren whispers.

"It's me. I promise." Lauren crawls closer and Olivia catches her just as she jumps into Olivia's awaiting arms.

"I'm sorry." Lauren cries harder.

"Shhh." Olivia says, holding her tight and rubbing her back gently. "Don't be sorry. You're okay. I promise." Olivia can feel Lauren shaking. "How about we go in my bed and I can make sure those bad dreams don't come back. Okay?" Lauren nods against Olivia's shoulders. Olivia was just glad Lauren was trusting her right now. She picks Lauren up easily and brings her to her room. She lays her down on the bed and gets in on the side of her. Lauren is looking around, clearly too frightened to close her eyes again. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. Just close your eyes." Lauren slowly closes her eyes, obviously exhausted from not only her dream, but the last eleven years of her life, and rests her head against Olivia's shoulder. Olivia wraps an arm around the small girl. If she wasn't certain before that she wanted Lauren; she was definitely certain now.

The rest of their night consisted of Olivia soothing Lauren through her nightmares. Thankfully, able to calm her down without her actually waking up. Olivia had finally fallen asleep after two hours, and when she had woke up Lauren wasn't on the side of her. Curiousity got the best of her and Olivia went searching for her new foster daughter. She went to Lauren's room, but it was empty. So, she walked further down the hall only to find Lauren sitting on Noah's small bed with him beside her as she reads him a book. Olivia smiles slightly as she walks in listening to Lauren read perfectly for someone who barely went to school.

Lauren looks up and quickly shuts the book. "I'm sorry." She says, nervously.

Olivia scrunches her brows looking confused. "What are you sorry for, honey?" Olivia walks closer and kneels down in front of them. Noah jumps into her arms, happily, making Olivia laugh. "It's okay to read to your brother."

"He was up. I didn't want to wake you." Lauren tells her, watching Olivia's every move.

"No. I'm so glad you kept him company while I was sleeping. Thank you." Olivia says, sincerely. She really needed the extra couple hours of sleep.

"You're welcome."

"How would you like to help me make breakfast?" Olivia asks.

"Together?"

"Of course." Olivia smiles. "I need all the help I can get." She jokes.

"Okay!" Lauren says, with a bit of excitement. She jumps off Noah's bed and runs out the room. Olivia could only laugh as she hugs Noah closer and follows Lauren out.

While Noah is playing with his toys in the living room, Lauren is sitting on the counter in the kitchen mixing up the ingredients Olivia just poured inside the big bowl.

"I never had pancakes before." Lauren admits.

Olivia starts helping Lauren mix the contents. "Really?"

"Yeah. I've made them before, though, for other people."

Olivia decided to take this opportunity to try to get something from Lauren's past out of her. She needed to know exactly what this little girl has gone through. "What people, Lauren?"

Lauren shrugs. "The other people I had to live with. I had to make them stuff and if I was lucky they would let me have some. But I never had pancakes."

"Lauren, how old were you when you started to cook?" Olivia asks.

Lauren thinks for a long moment. "I think I was four. I had a foster sister who showed me."

Olivia sets the bowl aside and stands in front of her Lauren. "Then how about I do this and you can just keep me company. How does that sound?" Lauren smiles, shyly, and nods. Olivia continues mixing while Lauren watches. "So, how old was your foster sister who taught you how to cook?"

Lauren shrugs. "I don't know. I was really little. I don't remember much. I think she was ten or eleven."

"Do you remember how long you stayed there?"

Lauren looks down, suddenly closing herself off. "I think I'm going to go play with Noah now." She hops off the counter and walks into the living room where her brother is.

Olivia sighs. She's disappointed in herself. Maybe she asked questions too soon, or Lauren is just more traumatized than she thought. Either way, Olivia knew she had to get something from Lauren's past one way or another. She had to speak up. The nightmares may never go away, nor will she be able to try to live her life normally if she doesn't talk about it. Olivia had to get Lauren to trust her if they were ever going to form a relationship.

After breakfast, they all got ready for their day. Olivia wasn't sure what she had planned, but she knew that she needed to get Lauren more clothes and things for her room. While Olivia is getting everything together for their trip out, there is a knock on the door. Lauren turns away from the t.v. and watches the door carefully, thinking at any time a social worker could be there to take her away. Olivia opens the door and Carisi and Amanda are there to greet her.

"Hey, guys!" Olivia smiles, letting them in. Carisi comes in holding a box and Amanda has a bag in her hands. "Lauren, you remember Amanda and Carisi from the precinct." Lauren nods, shyly.

Carisi kneels down, setting the box down on the floor. "But you can call me Sonny. BUT only you." Olivia and Amanda rolls their eyes and laugh.

"Lauren, we stopped by your old place and picked up your things." Amanda tells her.

Lauren looks into the box and sees her books. "My books!" She jumps up with a huge smile on her face.

"Well, if I knew all this time books would get her to smile, I would have just bought books for her." Olivia jokes.

"Can I go put my books on your bookshelf before we leave?" Lauren asks, looking up at Olivia.

Olivia smirks. "Yes. You can go put your books on _your_ bookshelf." She emphasizes the word your. Olivia knows it's going to take some time for Lauren to believe that she isn't leaving here and that these things are hers.

"Let me help you with this." Carisi grabs the box and follows Lauren to her room.

"How are things going?" Amanda asks.

Olivia shakes her head and sits down on the couch; Amanda follows. "She was up most of the night with nightmares. I'm not sure if she even slept long because by the time I got up, I found her reading a book to Noah in his room."

"Did she tell you what the nightmares were about?" Amanda asks.

"No. But while she was helping make breakfast, she mentioned a foster home and started telling me about her foster sister who taught her how to cook when she was four."

"Four? Wow."

"Yeah. I know. But once I started to ask more questions about the home and how long she stayed there, she ran off."

"She'll come around, Liv. That little girl has been through more than any of us. She'll eventually trust you. How could she not?" Amanda smiles as Carisi walks back in.

"Do all ten year-old girls get excited over books?" He asks, looking confused.

"Just the really special ones." Olivia says, laughing along with Amanda.

"We also brought over Lauren's clothes that were there. I'm honestly not sure if they are even worth salvaging." Amanda tells her.

"It's okay. We are actually heading out to go get some things for her. I need to make her room her own. I think every time she takes a breath she believes she is leaving soon." Olivia tells them.

"I think putting those books on that bookshelf is one step closer to her believing." Carisi says. Olivia nods, agreeing. "We better get going. Even though our boss isn't there, I don't want her thinking we're slacking off." He jokes.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "Baby steps, Liv." Amanda tells her as she follows Carisi to the door.

"Thanks, you guys." Olivia waves as she watches them leave. She checks on Noah real quick, who is still content with his toys, before going to Lauren's room. When she walks in she finds Lauren sitting on the floor with all her books surrounding her. "Hey. I thought those books were supposed to go on the shelf, not the floor." Olivia smiles.

Lauren turns to Olivia as she sits down. "I had to make sure they were all here. They are." Lauren confirms.

"Well, how about we go do our shopping then when we get back, I'll put Noah down for his nap and we can set up your room just how you like it."

"We don't have to. It's okay." Lauren says, kindly.

Olivia sighs. She grabs the book, gently, away from Lauren and sets it aside before she scoots closer, looking very serious. "Lauren, I promise you, baby, you are not going anywhere. This is your room. This is your home."

Tears begin to form in Lauren's green eyes. "You can't make promises."

"And why not?"

"They don't exist." She says, simply.

Olivia rests her hand on the side of Lauren's cheek and wipes a stray tear away. "I would never lie to you." Lauren just stares at Olivia, looking so lost and unsure. "Come on. Let's go." Olivia smiles softly.

It's been an hour since they made it to the mall. Olivia was strolling Noah while Lauren held on to the side, watching Olivia rummage through the clothes on the rack. She's never had her own clothes before. They've always been hand-me-downs, and never the right size. So, this was all very new to her.

"Olivia?" Lauren speaks up for the first time since they arrived.

"Hm?" Olivia says, focusing on the shirt in her hands. She's been measuring Lauren from top to bottom since they went into the first store. Lauren's got so used to it, now she just stands still and barely even notices Olivia doing it anymore.

"Why don't you have kids of your own?"

Olivia freezes, trying to think of something to say. This kid has been surprising her with the random questions since she brought her home. "Um, I do." Olivia gives her a quick smile.

"I don't mean us." Lauren tells her.

Olivia lets out a breath and turns fully to Lauren. "Well, I hadn't found a great man to share that part of my life with and also work took up most of my time. I just didn't have the time." She says, honestly.

"But aren't you the boss at the police station?"

"I am. Which is why I am here with you."

"So you get to do what you want?"

"Not exactly." Olivia smirks. She gets eye leveled with Lauren as an idea pops into her head. "Since you are suddenly interested in asking me questions, how about we play a game. After you ask me a question, I'll ask you a question."

Lauren slowly turns away. "Okay. I'll stop."

Olivia laughs. "That's what I thought."

After an hour of shopping and getting somewhat of everything Lauren may need, Olivia decided for them to head back home seeing as both kids were growing restless. When they got home, Olivia carried a sleeping Noah into his room for a nap, and Lauren ran to her room remembering that Olivia said they could put her books up on the bookshelf when they got home.

While Lauren is looking through each of her books, one by one, Olivia walks in causing Lauren to jump as she stares wide eyed at her new foster mother. Olivia notices and quickly sits down next to her.

"Hey. It's just me. I'm sorry I scared you." Olivia apologizes.

"Do you want to help me?" Lauren asks, ignoring Olivia's apologies.

Olivia smirks. "Of course I want to help you." They begin to put each book on the shelf one by one. Olivia desperately wanted to ask Lauren questions about her past, but she didn't have the heart to mess up what they had going right now. She couldn't risk Lauren pushing her away again. So, she watched Lauren carefully place each book in a row on the shelf. "Lauren, have you read all of these books?" Olivia notices that some of the books were way ahead of Lauren's age group.

Lauren nods. "Yes."

"You must be a very smart little girl." Olivia praises. "Not many kids your age like to read."

Lauren shrugs. "You can't take a lot with you to foster homes. But Ashley always let me keep them. I used to have a lot more, but some kids at the group home found them and tore them up." She says, sadly.

Olivia thanks God for giving her something of Lauren's past. An understanding of why she cried desperately not to return back to the group home. "Well, I'm so glad we found a forever home for them." Lauren smiles slightly and returns to her books. Not long after they had finished placing all the books perfectly on the shelves, it was lunch time. "How about I make us some lunch?"

Lauren's face drops in a look of horror. "I'm not allowed."

Olivia furrows her brows in confused. "What do you mean?"

"I can only eat once. That's what they told me."

Olivia lets out a sigh. "Lauren, what those people told you was not right. Little girls like you need food. And not just once a day. You can get sick if you don't eat enough, and I really don't want you to get sick because then you will miss out on so much. So, how about we start over? Lets not worry about what those other people told you. I want you to eat as much as you want because it would make me so very happy, and you will feel so much better."

Olivia could tell that Lauren was thinking hard about she just said to her. A child that has been tramatized by so much makes it difficult sometimes to get them to change their state of mind because it's what they were told their whole lives. But Olivia was up for the challenge.

"Okay." Lauren says simply as she walks out of the room.

"One step at a time." Olivia says to herself before following Lauren out to the kitchen.


	3. Only The Beginning

It was three in the morning, and Olivia was having trouble sleeping. She wasn't sure if it was her motherly instincts kicking in all of a sudden, but she's been having trouble sleeping since Lauren came into her life. Not that Lauren has been trouble because she hasn't been. It's just the constant worry of trying to make Lauren feel comfortable and trying to find a routine.

Olivia decided she needed to check on the kids before trying to force herself to sleep. She goes into Noah's room to find her sweet boy sleeping peacefully in his new big boy bed. It took awhile to get him to stay in it because he'd always end up in Olivia's bed in the middle of the night. It only took a few nights of Olivia laying in his small bed for him to stay all night every night.

Olivia walks across the hall to Lauren's room. When she opens the door, the only light in the room is from the moon shining through the window. But her heart drops when she doesn't see Lauren sleeping in her bed. Olivia tries to control the panic that is slowly rising in her throat as she looks around the room frantically. She runs into Lauren's bathroom, but she isn't in there. Before she decides to check the living room, she sees a small light coming from under Lauren's closet door.

"Lauren?" Olivia calls out quietly, but she doesn't receive and answer. She opens the door slowly, and her heart breaks when she finds Lauren sitting in the corner, with a book on her lap, and a flashlight in her hand, sleeping with her head resting on the wall. She kneels down and grabs the book from Lauren only causing her to wake Lauren up. Lauren jumps up when she sees Olivia, still not fully awake. "Hey. Hey. It's just me. It's Olivia." Lauren pulls her knees to her chest and doesn't say anything. Olivia can clearly see the fear in Lauren's green eyes. "Did you have a bad dream?" Lauren nods her head slowly. "Why are you in your closet? Why didn't you come to me?"

"I was scared." Lauren whispers, shyly. "I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh, sweetheart." Olivia frowns as she brushes a few stray hairs out of Lauren's face. She notices the faint tear marks down Lauren's red cheeks. "You can always come to me. How long have you been in here?" Lauren looks down and shrugs her shoulders. "We have a big day later, remember? We're going to visit the school you'll be going to." Olivia reminds her. A couple days ago, Lauren had asked Olivia about going back to school. She really liked school, but was hoping to go to a new one. Olivia was a little surprised. She's never known a kid that thoroughly enjoyed learning until she met Lauren. Lauren's old school was far away from Olivia's apartment, so Olivia agreed that she'd be going to a new school. It was time to start over and a different school was going to be one of the fresh starts to Lauren's new life. "Would you like to go in my bed? You need to get some sleep." Lauren slowly nods her head. Olivia doesn't hesitate to pick Lauren up. She knew that Lauren hadn't grown up being loved, held, or hugged and Olivia was going to take advantage of Lauren's size. She was so small. Small enough to still cuddle into Olivia's lap comfortably, and light enough to be carried around when need be. Of course Lauren didn't mind. Though, she never spoke up about it, she feels safe in Olivia's arms. She felt safe the moment she met Olivia. But that doesn't mean her doubts aren't still there. Olivia brought Lauren into her room and gently layed her down on the bed before sliding in on the side of her. She covers them both up and Lauren immediately attaches herself into Olivia's side. Olivia was a little surprised by the gesture. Since Lauren has come into her life, she hasn't been one to cuddle or want to be hugged other than letting Olivia carry her. The nightmare must have been really bad especially if Lauren ended up hiding inside her closet. Still not being able to sleep, though, Olivia lets Lauren nuzzle her face into Olivia's side while Olivia brushes her fingers through the little girl's long wavy brown hair, hoping to soothe her back to sleep.

Morning came fast in the Benson household. With not a lot of sleep, Olivia got up and made a big breakfast for the kids. She got Noah up and ready while she let Lauren sleep a little bit more considering she didn't sleep much due to her nightmares.

Eating was a new thing for Lauren. She grew up not having much, always cooking for others, and only looking at the food she couldn't have. Olivia made sure she cooked breakfast, made lunch, and they either cooked, went out, or ordered in food, but she always made sure Lauren ate. It took a few days for Lauren to get used to the idea of food, but she always ate. Even though she ate as if someone was going to be taking it away from her at any moment. Olivia was constantly reminding her that she will never be without food ever again.

"Alright. Lucy will be here soon to watch Noah while we go to your new school." Olivia explains. "So, we need to hurry hurry hurry."

Lauren sets her plate in the sink and looks curiously up at Olivia. " 'Livia, when I'm at school are you going to be at work?" She asks.

Olivia sets Noah down on the floor and he runs to his toys in the living room while Olivia turns back to Lauren. "I am. I'm kinda the boss there." She smirks.

"So, what if something happens?"

Olivia looks confused. "You mean to me?" She asks, walking closer to Lauren before kneeling down in front of her.

"To both of us." Lauren states.

Olivia cups Lauren's cheek softly. "If anything happens, I promise I will be there. I don't want you to worry about anything, okay? I will always be there. You and Noah will always come first." Lauren just looks down at Olivia, still unsure. "Alright. Go get dressed." Olivia hits Lauren's butt playfully as she runs passed her and to her new room.

Once Lucy arrived to watch Noah, Olivia and Lauren set out to visit Lauren's new school that she will be attending. It's only ten minutes away from the apartment so that makes things so much easier for Olivia when she brings Lauren to school. Plus, it's only another ten minutes from the precinct. So, it's right in the middle, perfect for both of them.

They walk in to the school hand-in-hand, and head to the principal's office. School is currently in session right now, so all the kids are in their classes.

"What do you think so far?" Olivia asks, looking down at Lauren, who is looking around the big building with a nervous face.

"It's bigger and cleaner than my last school." Lauren answers as she looks up at Olivia.

Olivia smirks. "Well, that's something then."

"Lieutenant Benson." Principal Evans walks over extending her hand out. Olivia smiles and shakes her hand. "It's great to meet you. This must be Lauren." She says, smiling down at Lauren.

Lauren squeezes Olivia's hand tighter. "Hi." She says, softly.

"Lauren is a little nervous to start a new school." Olivia tells her kindly.

"Oh, that's okay. I'm Principal Evans, and I promise Lauren you will like it here. How about I show you around and then we can meet up with our guidance counselor. She is going to give you a test that'll take about an hour depending on how long it takes you and we will see what level you are on. So, let's go." She smiles and leads them down the hall.

Olivia looks down and smiles at Lauren, hoping that all of these changes weren't scaring her. But Lauren's nervous face hadn't left since they entered the building.

Principal Evans showed them some of the classrooms, even the ones that were in session; they looked through the open windows. She showed them the courtyards, the cafeteria, and then lastly they met up with the school's guidance counselor.

"Hi. I'm Jenna Torres, the school's guidance counselor. You must be-"

"Olivia Benson." Olivia says, shaking her hand. "And this is Lauren." She says, as they look down at Lauren. Lauren gives her a little smile as she hides behind Olivia's arm. "Someone is a little nervous."

"Well, no worries there." Ms. Torres smiles as she kneels down in front of Lauren. "You'll be comfortable here soon enough. But, how about, right now, we take a test to see where you should be grade level. How about that? I hear you really love to read."

Olivia smiles. "She loves to read, right, Lauren?"

Lauren simply nods as Mr. Torres stands back up. "Well, how about I show you the books we have here and you can show me everything you know while your mom hangs out with Principal Evans."

Olivia and Lauren choose to ignore the 'mom' part, but that didn't mean they didn't like hearing it. Lauren looks up at Olivia, refusing to let go of Olivia's hand. Olivia could sense that Lauren didn't want her to leave. She forgot all about this part so she never discussed what would happen when they got here. Lauren needed to be tested to find out what grade she should be in considering she never got proper schooling to begin with. They weren't sure if they should hold her back in 4th grade or keep her in the grade she is suppose to be in which is 5th grade.

"You have to go?" Lauren asks.

Olivia kneels down and smiles sadly at the scared little girl in front of her. "Yeah. But I promise I'll be back. I'm not leaving you for good. I just have to fill out some paperwork and discuss a few things with your new principal while you show Ms. Torres how smart you are." Lauren glances at Ms. Torres, but she still didn't want Olivia to leave. "Still not convinced, huh?" Olivia lets out a breath and takes her badge from her hip. "How about you hold on to this? I can't go anywhere without it, right?" Lauren grabs it and looks at it, but she still didn't believe Olivia. Olivia grabs her keys from her back pocket and gives it to Lauren. "Now I really won't be able to go anywhere. I promise, Lauren, you're safe."

Lauren holds tight to Olivia's badge and keys and takes a deep breath. "Okay." She finally says. She still wasn't convinced and didn't want to be alone with a stranger, but she knew she had no choice.

"Okay." Olivia squeezes Lauren's cheek lovingly before standing back up. "I'll be fast and then when I'm done I'll be right out here."

"That's right, Lauren." Ms. Torres continues. "She'll be right outside this window until you are finished and you'll be able to see her." Lauren lets go of Olivia's hand and hesitantly follows Ms. Torres into the empty classroom.

Olivia takes a deep breath as she watches Lauren sit at one of the tables, clutching tightly to her badge and keys. Olivia wasn't prepared for this to be so difficult, but she understood Lauren's fear. People always leave. It's what she was used to. But Olivia refused to be one of those to leave Lauren. She will always be there and she needed Lauren to believe that. So, while Lauren took her test, Olivia set out to finish the paperwork needed as fast as possible so she can get back to her girl.

An hour went by and Olivia was now in the hallway, waiting for Lauren, as promised. She spent most of that hour going through paperwork and explaining Lauren's situation to the principal. She was hoping one day she wouldn't have to explain Lauren's past because then Lauren's past would be all about her. She didn't want the many foster homes and abuse to define who Lauren is.

Olivia called Lucy on her cell to check on Noah while she waited for Lauren to finish up. Once she was off, the classroom door opens and Lauren and Ms. Torres walk out. Olivia was unable to read Lauren's facial expression so that worried her.

"Hey! How did everything go?" Olivia asks, looking down at Lauren.

"Lauren, how about you take a seat right over there while I talk to your mom." Ms. Torres says.

Lauren looks up at Olivia, who nods her head. Lauren walks over to the empty chair and sits down. "So, how did she do?" Olivia asks, turning back to Ms. Torres.

Ms. Torres nods, smiling softly. "You have a smart girl on your hands."

"But.." Olivia says, sensing a 'but' from the guidance counselor.

"Have you thought about sending Lauren to talk a therapist? Though, she is very smart, away from school and the books, she's lacking social skills, verbal skills that doesn't concern writing it on paper."

Olivia glances at Lauren. "I have. I just wanted to get her settled first. I already know someone and had planned to for her to speak with him."

"Well, she already seems attached to you, so that's a good sign."

Olivia sighs. "Well, that turns off and on. But we're working on it."

"Well, besides that, I don't see any reason for Lauren to be held back. I know she hasn't had a lot of schooling, but whatever she's been doing for herself apparently has been working. Now, her math skills aren't as great, but that can be worked on. We can find a tutor for her while she is in school."

Olivia smiles, relieved. "That's great news. With everything that she has been through, I really didn't want this to be a set back for her."

"As long as she continues whatever it is she is doing, we shouldn't have any problems." Mrs. Torres smiles.

Once they got back into Olivia's car, Lauren fell asleep in the backseat due to the lack of sleep she was getting at night. Olivia needed to stop by the precinct to start on some paperwork that needed to be signed. She still had a few more days until Lauren had to start school, and she was really hoping she could get Dr. Huang in to speak to Lauren while she was there.

The detectives all turn around when they find their Sergeant walk in, carrying Lauren, who is sleeping soundly on her shoulder.

"Someone looks peaceful." Fin smiles.

Olivia gives him a look, playfully saying 'you wake her; you die.' She needed Lauren to get this nap in. She has been struggling since she came into Olivia's possession, and probably even before. Olivia also needed Lauren healthy for their meeting with the social worker. Anymore setbacks could really delay the adoption process, and Olivia needed it to go as fast as possible. She went through this same process with Noah, only he was a baby and didn't come with PTSD. But the social worker still gave her hell until the final process was done and Noah offically became hers.

The detectives laugh, lightly, at the stress filled on Olivia's face. Olivia walks into her office and lays Lauren down, gently, on the couch before covering her with a light blanket. Amanda walks in just as Olivia sits at her desk.

"We weren't expecting you to be here today." She says, quietly, looking over her shoulder at the sleeping ten year-old as she sits in the chair in front of her Olivia's desk.

"Paperwork waits for no one. Plus, I figured now would be the best time as any. We just left the new school she will be attending Monday." Olivia explains.

Amanda raises her brows. "Really? How'd that go?"

Olivia sighs. "Better than expected. She doesn't have to be held back, so that's good. But I'm not quite sure how she is going to handle being by herself come Monday. I had to give her my badge and keys to hold on to while she took her placement test to assure her that I wouldn't leave."

"She's been through a lot." Amanda frowns. "How's she sleeping?"

"Nightmares every night. I caught her sleeping in her closet with a book and flashlight last night because she didn't want to wake me up."

"Is she telling you what her nightmares are about?"

Olivia shakes her head. "She changes the subject every time I ask. I'm calling Huang to come in and try to see if he can get anything out of her. Then tomorrow we have to go to the hospital to update her shots. She hasn't had any since she was found at three years-old. I can't have another situation like Noah had last year."

"That should be interesting." Amanda says, unsure of how Lauren is going to handle being in the hospital again. "Well, look, I'll call Huang. You just finish your paperwork and relax." Amanda smiles as she begins walking to the door.

"Thanks, Amanda." Olivia smiles. She looks at Lauren once more, sleeping soundly for once, before looking back down at the pile of paperwork in front of her.

A couple hours go by and Lauren slowly opens her eyes. She looks around and jumps up in a panic when she notices that she isn't in the apartment, and Olivia isn't around. She recognizes Olivia's office, though. Carisi walks in with a folder and places it on Olivia's desk. When he turns back around he sees Lauren's wide and tearful eyes looking back him.

"Hey, Lauren." Carisi smiles as she walks over. "Remember me? I brought over your books with Amanda the other day."

"Am I going away again?" Lauren asks so quietly that Carisi barely heard her.

"What? No. No. Why you think that?" Lauren looks around, and it dawns on Carisi. "Because this is where your social worker left you last time, right?" Lauren nods. "Nah. You're not going anywhere. You're stuck with us, kid. Olivia just had to run a quick errand. She'll be right back. You wanna come sit at my desk while we wait for her?" Lauren thinks for a few moments, but Carisi was surprised to see her nod and grab his hand.

Almost fifteen minutes later, Olivia walks back into the precinct, finding Lauren sitting on top of Carisi's desk with his phone in her hands. For the first time since she's had her, Olivia watches as a real laugh come out of Lauren's mouth, surprising them all.

"Hey. What's going on here?" Olivia smiles as she walks up to the two.

"I think you found your next babysitter." Amanda jokes from her desk.

Carisi rolls her eyes. "She was up. I'm just entertaining her with games on my phone."

"You came back." Lauren says, shyly, as she places the phone down and looks up at Olivia.

Olivia brushes her fingers through the girl's hair. "I'll always come back. Thanks for watching her Carisi."

"Anytime." He says, smiling at Lauren.

"Hey. I wanna show you something." Olivia takes Lauren's hand and helps her jump off of Carisi's desk before leading her towards the back. "There's someone I want you to talk to. He's an old friend of mine and he specializes in helping kids." She brings Lauren to the room she first met Noah in.

"Did I do something wrong?" Lauren asks, nervously.

Olivia settles them the couch, and she looks down, lovingly, at the young girl in front of her. It still amazed her that she had Lauren. And Olivia was going to do everything in her to help Lauren get through her fears and help her adjust as best as she could. And if Lauren can't bring herself to tell Olivia about her past, then she was going to bring someone in who has more experience.

"No, sweetheart. Not at all. There's just some things that I know are bothering you and I don't think you feel comfortable enough to speak to me about them. I'm hoping to rid those nightmares of yours so you can sleep better. So, how about we just try this out. What do you say?"

Lauren takes a deep breath. "Are you going to stay with me?"

"I am going to be right outside that door. So, if you need me, just call my name and I'll be right here." Dr. Huang walks in and Olivia can feel Lauren stiffin beside her. She puts her arm around Lauren, rubbing her arm gently.

"Hello, Lauren. I'm Dr. Huang." George smiles as she sits in front of them. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Hi." Lauren says, quietly.

"Okay, Lauren. I'm going to go outside. Remember I'll be right behind that door." Olivia reminds her as she places a quick kiss on top of Lauren's head before walking out of the room.

Once Olivia walks out she stands behind the one way mirror to watch the two, hoping George can get something out of her. Carisi walks in and stands next to her. "She thought you were sending her away when she didn't see you when she woke up." He tells Olivia.

"Thank you for keeping her company while I was gone. She seems to really like you. All of you." Olivia tells him.

Carisi shrugs with a small smile on his face. "I have a way with the kids. It was easy. But I suggest not leaving her alone in your office until she knows for sure she isn't leaving." Olivia gives him a confused look. "Since, ya know, the last time she was in there she was being sent away with you." Olivia nods, understanding and focuses back to the room Lauren and George are in.

"I hear you like to read." George says to Lauren. Lauren nods her head, slowly. "How about drawing? Do you enjoy doing that also?"

Lauren shrugs. "Sure."

"Well, how about you draw something while I ask you some questions. Would that be alright?"

"Okay."

George puts some colors and a sheet of paper in front of Lauren as she gets closer to the table. The first color she picks up is the black crayon and she begins to draw. "So, Lauren, do you enjoy living with Olivia so far?"

Lauren nods. "She's nice."

"And do you like having a little brother?"

"Yeah. I had a lot of foster sisters and brothers, but I like having a real one."

"How did you like living with your old foster sisters and brothers?" George asks, hoping this will be the start of learning about Lauren's past.

"Some of them were nice, and some of them weren't."

"What did they do that wasn't nice?"

Lauren frowns. "They would tease me because I read. Some of them would steal my books and rip them up."

"Did you tell your foster parents?"

"Sometimes."

"And what would they do to help?"

"They didn't care." Lauren says, glaring up at George. "They would laugh and call me a baby for telling."

Outside of the room, Olivia was standing, amazed, by how much George was getting Lauren to talk. She wasn't sure if she heard Lauren speak this much since she's moved in.

George takes a second to sit on the floor, hoping to make Lauren comfortable enough to answer his next question. "Lauren, did any of your foster parents ever hurt you?" Lauren stops coloring and just stares down at her paper. "Lauren?" George questions, raising his eyebrows, concerned by Lauren's sudden mood change.

" 'Livia said if I talk to you then my nightmares could go away. Is that true?" She asks, still looking down at the color in her hand.

"Talking about what's bothering you sometimes does help relieve some of that pain that you've been holding on to." George could tell that Lauren was still unsure. "Lauren, you are safe here. No one can hurt you ever again."

Lauren takes a few minutes to begin. She was suddenly brought back to her past foster homes and the abuse she took for the past ten years of her life. George and Oliva could practically see the wheels turning in Lauren's brain. Wondering if she could trust them enough to let them in. Wondering if whatever she says will get back to the people that hurt her and they would find her and hurt her again. Wondering if whatever she let out will be a reason for Olivia to send her back, and then she wouldn't be able to see her brother ever again. Lauren really wanted to trust them. She needed to trust someone. She wanted Olivia to be her mom, so maybe Olivia won't send her back if she does what she is told.

Tears begin to form inside of Lauren's green eyes. "They would hit me all the time."

"Your foster parents?" George asks. Lauren nods. "Do you know why they would hit you?"

Lauren shrugs. "Sometimes I stole food in the middle of night. But sometimes I didn't do anything." She chokes out, as tears begin to fall down her red cheeks.

"What would they hit you with, Lauren?" George asks, cautiously.

"Their hands, but mostly a belt. I would hide in the closet so they couldn't find me."

"Did they ever find you?" Lauren shakes her head. Now Olivia understood why Lauren was in the closet the night before. "Lauren, did your foster parents ever do anything else to hurt you?" Lauren looks up for the first time since she stopped drawing. "Something that you didn't feel comfortable doing."

"I don't want to go back to the group home." Lauren begins to cry.

"Lauren, did they do something that you knew wasn't right?" George continues.

Lauren jumps up and runs to the door. She tries to open it, but it's locked. "Please. I don't want to talk anymore!" She yells, as she bangs on the door. Within seconds the door opens and Olivia walks in. "I can't do it. Please don't send me back! Please!" Lauren cries as Olivia quickly picks her up, holding her tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lauren repeats as she cries into Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia looks wide eyed at George who sighs. They had their answer, but not in the right way. Olivia hushes Lauren. "Shh. Shh. Lauren, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe now." But Lauren continues to cry, wrapping her small arms tightly around Olivia's neck.

After calming Lauren down, Olivia asked Amanda and Carisi to watch her while she spoke to Dr. Huang. Lauren was content as she sat on Amanda's lap while she played a game on Carisi's phone.

"So, what do you think?" Olivia asks, as she walks back into her office, shutting the door behind her for privacy.

George sighs. "Well, Lauren definitely has a form of PTSD. She can speak about the abuse such as: the hitting and name calling. But when it comes to the sexual assaults that were brought upon her she can't open up. She's afraid that they will find her if she talks about, and she's even more afraid that you won't want her anymore." He explains.

"Well, that'll never happen."

"We both know that, but she doesn't. Since Lauren was born, she was passed through different foster homes. Lauren has never known a home, or love. And now that she has one with her brother, she isn't sure how to handle it. She likes you, Olivia, but she's afraid to love you."

"Then what should I do?" Olivia asks, feeling defeated.

"Continue doing what you are doing. I think until the adoption is one hundred percent set in stone, she's going to have her walls up." Dr. Huang takes out the sheet of paper that Lauren was drawing on earlier during their talk. "I think this will help us get some sort of idea of what her nightmares have been about." He lays the sheet out and Olivia gasps. Lauren drew a picture of a bed, a stick figure that they assume is Lauren, laying on top of the bed, and two big figures at the front door she drew off to the side of the paper.

"She's reliving this every night."

"And we need to know exactly what this is about so that we can help her."

Olivia takes a deep breath and continues looking at the drawing as she thinks about the little girl just sitting outside her office door filled with fear and hope all at the same time just wanting someone to break those walls down and prove to her they are what she needs.

And Olivia was going to do all that she could to be that person.

Back at the house, Olivia walks into Lauren's room after putting Noah to sleep, and walks over to the bed where Lauren is laying down nervously playing with her hands. Olivia sits down on the side of the bed, leaning over Lauren with a small smile on her face.

"I'm pretty proud of you, you know?" Olivia tells her.

Lauren looks quizzically at Olivia. "Why?"

Olivia raises her brows, looking surprised. "Why? Because you did a very brave thing today, that's why."

"But I ran away crying."

"And that's okay." Olivia assures her. "No one is going to force you to say anything until you are ready to."

"So, you aren't going to send me back?"

Olivia grabs Lauren's hand. "Lauren, nothing you do will ever make me want to send you back, okay? You are mine and I will prove it every single day until you realize that, or until you just get too tired of asking me that question. You stole my heart, kid, and now I can't see my life without you. So, whether you like it or not, you aren't going anywhere." She says while she tickles Lauren on her side making her laugh. "Alright. Now you had a long day. Get some sleep." Olivia bends down gently kissing Lauren on her forehead. But before she can get off the bed, Lauren grabs her hand.

"Olivia, can you stay with me till I fall asleep?"

"Of course." Olivia smiles and settles herself on the side of Lauren. Lauren turns on her side, and places her head against Olivia's arm.

Today was difficult for the both of them. And it was only the beginning. 


	4. Hard Times Come Again No More

Olivia walks out of her room and peeks into Noah's room to find him and Lauren laying down on their stomachs, on the floor, building with leggos. In any other family a brother and sister would want anything to do with eachother, especially if they were two and ten years-old. But in this special little family, Noah and Lauren are attached to the hip when they are home together. Olivia fell in love more and more with the two little loves in her life every single time she was able to experience their bond.

Last night was a tough night for little Lauren, though. Olivia ended up falling asleep in Lauren's bed, and she was thankful that she did. She woke up with Lauren drenched in sweat, and kicking from side to side, obviously deep in a nightmare. Lauren was so disoriented from her nightmare that when Olivia woke her up from it she didn't even realize that Olivia was changing her into dry clothes.

That's when Olivia saw them. The cuts that hadn't healed up just yet, and the ones that left visible scars across her back. She understood now why Lauren was so private when it came to changing. Olivia knew that Lauren had these wounds because of the first time she seen her in the hospital. Plus, the doctor explained all that she found during Lauren's examination. But seeing them firsthand broke Olivia's heart to pieces, and angered her so much she just wanted to find these people who hurt her little girl and destroy them. She was able to coaxed Lauren back to sleep by holding her close. And when they woke up Olivia decided not to mention anything about it unless Lauren said something, but even then Olivia wasn't even sure if Lauren remembers anything.

At the hospital, Lauren is sitting on the table with Olivia standing next to her waiting for the doctor to come in. Right when they arrivied, the nurse weighed her and measured her height. Her weight is still not where it should be, but she also only been with Olivia for a few days so it was was going to take some time to get Lauren where she needed to be. Lauren was nervous, and Olivia could tell. She couldn't help but wonder how Lauren felt when she was here alone the first time she met her.

"Are the shots going to hurt?" Lauren asks, hesitantly.

Olivia brushes her fingers through Lauren's hair. Having a little girl was so different than having a boy. Though Lauren prefered simple outfits such as: leggings and a regular shirt. Olivia has been making mental reminders to herself to get more for Lauren. But being able to braid and fix Lauren's hair gave Olivia and Lauren more things to bond over, and Lauren never once complained; enjoying every bit of it.

"Lauren Porter." The doctor comes in looking at his chart. "How are we doing today?" He looks up and smiles at Lauren. Olivia feels Lauren stiffin beside her and looks curiously at her. Lauren is staring wide eyed at the doctor, and the color in her face completely drained. "And you must be-"

"Olivia Benson." Olivia says, reaching over and shaking the doctor hand.

"Dr. McGuire. Nice to meet you." He walks closer to Lauren and grabs his stethoscope. "Lauren, first I'm going to check your heart." As he reaches over to touch Lauren's chest, Lauren bolts off the table and runs out the door.

"Lauren!?" Olivia yells, looking surprised as she runs after her. Olivia catches Lauren at the end of the hall and bends down, keeping her hand on Lauren's arms so she can't run away. "Lauren, what's wrong?"

Lauren has a stream of tears flowing from her eyes, and Olivia had never seen the fearful look that Lauren is giving her right now. Not even during one of her nightmares. "Don't make me go back in there!" Lauren cries out, trying to pull away. "I'll be good! I promise! Don't let him hurt me!"

"No one is going to hurt you, sweetheart." Olivia stresses. "He's just the doctor."

Lauren shakes her head. "No! He's going to hurt me again!"

"Again!?" Olivia asks, looking confused.

"Please!"

Olivia grabs Lauren and picks her up, holding her close as Lauren cries into her shoulder, wrapping her small arms around Olivia's neck. "Okay. Okay. He won't hurt you, baby. We'll get someone else. Okay? You're safe with me. You're safe. Shh. I'll find someone else." She feels Lauren nod slowly against her neck, and she breathes out relieved that Lauren wasn't completely against the idea of doctors, but rather fearful that she was so against Dr. McGuire.

After Olivia was able to calm Lauren down, she made up an excuse explaining to Dr. McGuire that due to Lauren's past, she had issues with men. But Olivia swore she saw a small smirk escape from Dr. McGuire's lips as he listened to Olivia explain Lauren's outburst, like he knew the truth. So, a woman doctor arrived and checked Lauren's vitals, and gave her a shots in each arm as fast as possible. Lauren hadn't said a word during the whole thing and nothing on the way back to the apartment.

Olivia decided to drop Lauren off with Lucy and head to the precinct, even though she wasn't expected to be back until that Monday. But with what happened at the hospital with Dr. McGuire just couldn't wait. It was time to officially dig deep into Lauren's past and see if anything comes up.

Olivia is sitting in her office searching all that she can on her computer. When she got to the precinct she explained what happened to her fellow detectives and right away they got on the case. Fin went down to the hospital to grab all that he could from Lauren's medical records, and medical background on Dr. McGuire while Carisi searched McGuire's home and social life, and Amanda made a few phone calls to people who know McGuire. Olivia stayed in her office going through everything in Lauren's file, trying to find some sort of connection to this man.

"Lauren's medical records going back to when she was five. Dr. James McGuire started working there around that time." Fin says, walking into Olivia's office and dropping two files onto her desk.

Olivia grabs Lauren's file and begins looking through it. "She's been in and out of the hospital since she was a baby." Olivia says, sounding heartbroken, wishing she could have got to Lauren sooner. "Was McGuire her doctor through all the visits?"

"To a few of them. Every foster parent she's had brought Lauren to him when he was available."

"How is that even possible, though? None of the foster parents knew eachother."

"But they had one person in common."

In an interrogation room, Ashley, Lauren's case worker is sitting in one of the chairs when Olivia and Amanda walk in.

"So, you've been Lauren's social worker since she was five years old." Amanda states.

Ashley nods. "Yeah." She says, confused. "Once she got into school they transferred her to my age group. What is this about? Is Lauren okay?"

"She's great now." Olivia says, sarcastically.

"Then why am I here?"

Olivia slams McGuire's file down and opens it to his picture. "Dr. James McGuire. The doctor at Mercy Hospital that you were telling each foster parent to send her to. A doctor you recommended on the list to me. Why him?"

Ashley shrugs. "He's a good doctor." She says, not sounding too convincing. "After each visit with him, Dr. McGuire would confirm my suspicions on abuse in the home and I would take Lauren away. I wasn't wrong and neither was he."

"Oh, no. You weren't wrong. Lauren was being abused, but not only by her foster parents. Why Dr. McGuire specifically?" Amanda asks.

Ashley looks down, obviously not sure if she should tell the truth or not. Afraid she'd lose her job. "We've been seeing eachother off and on for years." She admits, knowing if she didn't say anything now, eventually it would come up and she'd be in deeper than she is now. "But he's a good doctor. That's why I recommended him. I don't understand what's going on."

"Were you aware of any changes in Lauren after the visits with Dr. McGuire?" Amanda asks.

Ashley shakes her head. "No. Lauren has always been quiet and to herself. Did she say something happened?"

"She didn't have to." Olivia speaks up. "This morning she went into a full panic attack when he stepped into the room."

"What? That's never happened before. I don't understand. Maybe something triggered from her past."

"Yeah. Dr. McGuire." Olivia rolls her eyes. "How well do you know this man?"

"Dr. McGuire moved here from Chicago." Carisi reads outloud as they all stand around the computer in the precinct. "But no record."

"That we know of." Fin says. "He just hasn't been caught."

"Until now." Olivia says.

"And we can't pick him up until we have something. Which means-"

"Lauren needs to talk." Olivia takes a deep breath. "Okay. For now, let's just keep digging. Maybe we missed something. I don't want to talk to Lauren until we are absolutely sure we have nothing." Everyone nods in agreement. "Let's get to work." She says, walking back to her office.

Midnight rolled around and the detectives still couldn't find anything to pin on Dr. McGuire. Olivia went through every piece of information on all of Lauren's foster parents. And that was a whole other matter that she would eventually get into with Lauren later on. But, for now, her main focus is Dr. McGuire, and unfortunately she was going to have to get something out of Lauren about him. She had no other choice.

As much as Olivia hated going home without a case being solved, she had to be there for her kids. Her life's different now. No more sleepovers at the precinct. When she got home she walked into the living room to find Lauren asleep on the couch and Lucy sitting beside her reading a book.

"Hey, Liv." Lucy smiles as she stands up.

"Hey, Lucy. How did everything go after I dropped her off?" Olivia asks, putting her bag and jacket into the closet and dropping her gun and badge into a drawer.

"She was great. It took a little while for her to warm up to me, but I set them up with some crafts and movies and she was good." Lucy tells her. "She did refuse to go to bed without you being here, but she failed and end up crashing about twenty minutes ago."

Olivia smirks and bends down in front of Lauren, rubbing her arm lovingly. "Thank you so much, Lucy."

"It's no problem. She's a great kid. She and Noah are a lot alike." Lucy laughs.

Olivia laughs. "Tell me about it."

"See you tomorrow, Liv."

"Bye, Luc." Olivia sighs while she looks at Lauren's sleeping figure. "We'll get him, sweet girl." She says, quietly.

She picks up Lauren, gently, and starts to carry her to her room. "Mommy?" Lauren says, in her sleep.

Olivia freezes. She closes her eyes and just hugs Lauren closer to her. Knowing Lauren is unaware about what she's said, but that didn't mean it still didn't warm Olivia's heart hearing it and excited to hopefully hear that word in the their future permanently. She continues walking to Lauren's room and gently places her in her bed, covering her up. "Sweet dreams, little girl." Olivia places a kiss on top of Lauren's head and walks out, leaving the door ajar.

It had only been a couple hours since Olivia came home. She was having trouble sleeping per usual and was now just laying in bed, looking up at the ceiling thinking about all that Lauren had been through and thanking God for sending Lauren her way. But the silence in the apartment didn't last too long. Olivia was expecting it, like every night since Lauren moved in, the screaming that came across the hall. Olivia jumped out of bed but before she could run out of her room, Lauren came running in first.

" 'Livia! 'Livia!" Lauren cries out. Olivia kneels down just in time for Lauren to jump into her awaiting arms.

"Lauren, it's okay. I'm here. You're safe. It was just a dream. Shh." Olivia says, rubbing the girl's back, repeatedly, trying to calm her down.

"I'll tell you everything!" Lauren cries harder.

Olivia pulls Lauren back so that she can look at her. All the times she had woken up with Lauren's nightmares, she had never seen her in this state before. Olivia could only blame Dr. McGuire. "Lauren, what are you talking about, sweetheart?"

"I don't want anymore nightmares! I'll tell you everything! Just make them go away! Please, 'Livia!"

Olivia pulls Lauren back into her arms, holding her tight. "Okay. Okay. Shh."

Olivia is surprised by the sudden outburst, at first, but then she remembers when she had told Lauren if she spoke about her nightmares then they may go away. She could only hope now that once Lauren opened up that her nightmares would go away giving Lauren the sense of trust that she needs from Olivia.

At the precinct, Olivia and the rest of the detectives, plus Dr. Huang, are standing behind the one way mirror watching Lauren. She is sitting on the couch, holding a pillow close to her chest. Since this morning Lauren has yet to say a word to anyone, only nodding to Olivia when she was asked if she was sure she was ready to talk about her nightmares.

"She's shutting down." Olivia says.

"You're obviously doing something right, Liv. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you." Fin assures her.

"She called me Mommy last night when I brought her to bed. She was sleeping so I doubt she remembers but-"

"She remembers." Amanda interrupts with a smile.

Olivia wipes away a few stray tears and smiles at her friend. "Let me go talk to her first." She tells George before she walks into the room. "Hey, sweetheart." Olivia says, and sits down next to Lauren. "I'm going to ask you again. Are you sure you want to talk to Dr. Huang?"

Lauren nods, and looks up at Olivia. "I don't want anymore nightmares." She speaks up for the first time that day.

Olivia nods. "Okay. But I also need you to understand that this may not be the only time you have to talk about this. You might have to repeat this again and again until we get everyone that has hurt you and put them in jail."

"I want to." Lauren says after a few moments of thinking about it. "But, 'Livia, can you stay with me this time, please?"

"Are you sure?" Lauren nods. "Of course I will." Olivia puts her arm around Lauren's small frame and pulls her in slightly, planting a light kiss on top of Lauren's forehead. "My brave, brave girl." She whispers. Olivia then looks up at the one way mirror and signals Dr. Huang to come in.

It had been a good ten minutes since Dr. Huang entered the room and sat down in front of Lauren and Olivia. Lauren would scoot closer and closer to Olivia each time she spoke about a time in a different foster home. Each one had their own kind of abuse towards Lauren, but she was still affected the same way. Her only comfort was being able to hide in a closet and not be found. Most of the abuse came from the foster parents such as: taking away food, making her clean until all hours of the night, and foster dads getting what they want from a little girl that was unable to fight back. But some of the abuse did come from the foster parents real children, or some of the kids at the group homes. Lauren will forever have scars from belts and other different objects that found their way across her body, but the worst of it all came from the foster dads and...Dr. McGuire.

"Lauren, do you remember the first time you were brought to see Dr. McGuire?" Dr. Huang asks.

Olivia could feel Lauren flinch as she heard the doctor's name. "I was really little." Lauren says, thinking.

"Did a foster family bring you or did Ashley bring you?"

Lauren shakes her head. "No." She looks down at her hands, furrowing her brows. Olivia and George could practically see the wheels turning in Lauren's head by how hard she is thinking. "I wasn't with a foster family the first time I met him." Lauren remembers.

Olivia and George glance at one another. "Lauren, you remember the first time you arrived at the hospital? Before you were ever put in the system?"

Lauren looks up at Olivia. "I think so." She says, quietly.

"Lauren, are your nightmares about Dr. McGuire?" Dr. Huang asks.

"Most of them." She answers.

"Okay. Lauren, what is the first thing you ever remember about Dr. McGuire?"

Lauren begins thinking again. "He brought me there."

"To the hospital?"

Lauren nods. "I remember because he wrote my name on a piece of paper and gave it to me. Then he walked away."

"And do you remember the next time you saw him?"

"When I was with my first foster family. I broke my arm."

"And what did Dr. McGuire do to you?"

Tears begin to develop into Lauren's little green eyes as she looks at Dr. Huang and Olivia. No one has ever cared so much about her before until now. Now she has all these people, who only met her a week ago, and they all want to help her.

"He took my clothes off. He told me he had to take pictures of my arm.." Lauren looks only at Olivia. "..but he didn't. I'm sorry." Lauren starts to cry.

Olivia cups Lauren's face with her hands, and gently begins wiping the tears that are streaming down her little face. She had to ask one more question and then she knew they would be finished. "Lauren, did he touch you anywhere?"

Lauren looks down, feeling embarrassed. "Yes." She cries harder. "When he was helping me put my clothes back on. I didn't want him to! I told him no!"

Olivia quickly picks Lauren up and puts her in her lap, holding her close while she cries. "I know, sweetheart. You did so good! So good!" Olivia praises as she gently kisses the side of Lauren's head over and over again.

"Lauren, did he do this every time?" Dr. Huang asks. Lauren just nods her head, crying harder into Olivia's shoulder.

After calming Lauren down, Olivia settled Lauren on her couch in her office with a game on her cell phone while she went out into the main floor to discuss everything with her fellow detectives.

"How is it even possible for her remember what happened to her at three years-old?" Carisi asks. "I can barely remember what I ate yesterday."

"When you go through a traumatic event in your life, it's hard to forget. And, unfortunately, Lauren only has those memories. She's never known anything else." Dr. Huang answers.

"We need to find out where this guy came from and why he decided to return back to that hospital after two years of dropping Lauren off there." Amanda tells them.

"I want every medical record of every visit Lauren has had at that hospital. Reasons why she was there and all the doctors and nurses names that assisted that bastard. Then we need a search warrant. I want everything he owns searched. Also, bring Ashley back in. I have a few more questions." Olivia orders them. "But, right now, I'm taking Lauren home and I'll be back later."

Everyone nods and walks away to start on their assignments while Olivia walks back into her office to grab Lauren and bring her back home where she is safe.

"Are we going home?" Lauren asks, as soon as Olivia walks in.

"Yeah, baby." Olivia says, as she walks closer and kneels down in front of Lauren. "But first I want to tell you how proud I am of you, and thank you for trusting me enough to tell me what happened to you."

"No one has ever cared about me before." Lauren admits.

Olivia tries desperately to hold back her tears. "Well, you will never have to worry about that ever again. Okay?" Lauren nods, and wraps her arms around Olivia's neck. Olivia quickly picks her up, wrapping her own arms around Lauren and holding her close as she walks out of her office, ready to come back and take this man and everyone who has ever hurt her girl down.


	5. Starting Now

Olivia got zero sleep that night. Her mind was in full speed thinking about the first thing she was going to do when she gets to the precinct later that morning. Lauren didn't have a nightmare tonight, but what about the other nights? Olivia knows that just because Lauren told them about what happened with Dr. McGuire doesn't mean this is the end of the nightmares or flashbacks. Olivia wished she was right about what she told Lauren, but it takes a lot of time to get over PTSD, and that's something Olivia was well aware of.

Once her alarm went off, she got up and immediately started getting dressed and began making breakfast for the kids before she headed out.

"Lucy will be here in just a few minutes, and I will be back later tonight." Olivia tells Lauren who is sitting at the table with her head resting on her arms. When she doesn't hear anything back, Olivia turns around. "Lauren?" She looks into the living room, checking on Noah, before she walks closer to Lauren and kneels down on the side of her. "Lauren, I'm going to be back tonight. I promise." Lauren continues looking forward, refusing to look at Olivia. Lauren never thought in her whole ten years of being in foster care that she would find someone who actually cared about her, but she did. And all Lauren wanted now was just to enjoy her new life. But, instead, she has a cop as her foster mother who cares so much about her that she is digging up Lauren's past wanting to catch every bad person that has ever hurt her. Dr. McGuire being one of them. "We are going to catch him, sweetheart, and he will never hurt you or anyone else ever again." Lauren pushes her plate away and stands up, ignoring Olivia, and walks to her room. Olivia watches Lauren grab a book off her shelf and head to the closet.

Olivia wanted to follow, but her front door opens and Lucy walks in. "Lucy!" Noah yells as she he runs to his babysitter.

"Hey, Noah." Lucy laughs and picks the little boy up.

Olivia walks in giving her a small smile. "Hey, Luce. Thanks for sacrificing your Saturday to come here."

Lucy shakes her head. "Don't worry about that. How's she doing?" She asks about Lauren.

Olivia sighs, looking towards Lauren's room. "Well, she refuses to eat or talk to me. And she's hiding in her closet. She's shutting down."

"I'll lure her out." Lucy smiles. "Because if she is anything like this one.." She says, looking at Noah. "..she won't be able to pass up my bribes."

Olivia laughs and grabs her things. "Thank you. I'll check in later." She kisses Noah on his cheek and gives him an 'I love you' before walking out of the apartment. 

* * *

At the precinct, the squad is standing around looking at the big screen and evidence they found in Dr. McGuire's office at the hospital. There's paperwork on patients, and pictures of not only Lauren, which Olivia kept close to her, but pictures of other children.

"This is enough to bring that pervert in." Fin tells them.

"But it still doesn't explain why he brought Lauren to that hospital when she was three, and then returned two years later." Amanda says.

"Then we bring him in. We got him. There's no denying what he's done." Olivia tells them. "And bring Ashley back in. I need to know who told her about McGuire." Everyone nods and goes their separate ways. Amanda walks up to Olivia sensing something else was wrong.

"How's Lauren doing?" Amanda asks.

Olivia sighs. "She's scared. And I can't say that I blame her." 

* * *

In the interrogation room, Olivia is walking back and forth while Ashley is sitting down.

"Why am I back here?" Ashley asks, looking annoyed.

"I need to know everything that you know about McGuire." Olivia tells her.

"I've already told you everything. I've been Lauren's social worker since she was five years-old. I got her out of those foster homes. If it wasn't for Dr. McGuire, she would probably be dead." Ashley argues.

"No! If it wasn't for me, McGuire would have killed her!" Olivia yells.

"What are you talking about?"

Olivia slaps down a picture of Lauren half naked on the table in front of her. "I'm talking about that! You've been sending that little girl to be raped, molested, and abused!" The anger that Olivia was throwing out right now was enough to scare any perp, and Ashley sat there shocked by what she was seeing.

"I-I- didn't know anything about this. Lauren didn't say anything." Ashley says, on the verge of tears.

"So, this is her fault?"

"No. Of course not. But I would-"

"You would have what?" Olivia interrupts her. "You would have found another doctor for her? You would have reported him? You would have stopped seeing him? Which one is it? Because all of them would have saved her. As her social worker, you are supposed to be the one person she can trust, and you failed her." Ashley continues staring at Lauren's pictures with tearful eyes until Olivia takes it away, and sits down on the other side of the table. "Now, you are going to tell me everything that you know about McGuire starting with how you found out about him." 

* * *

In the other interrogation room, Dr. McGuire is in there with Fin and Carisi. He's only been there a little while and he went down to the precinct without causing a scene; wanting to keep up his good doctor reputation.

"You must be the detectives that went through my office." He says with a smug smile.

"The one and onlys." Fin tells him.

"We found your stash, McGuire." Carisi says.

"Yes. I noticed. That's doctor-patient confidential." McGuire tells them.

"So, the parents of these children gave you permission to take pictures of them without their clothes?" Fin asks in disbelief. McGuire just looks away. "I didn't think so."

"You see all these pictures in this folder are going to put you away for a very long time." Carisi says, showing him the unopen folder. They refused to give him satisfaction of looking at his work.

"You saw the bruises and cuts; the broken bones all those kids are showing. It's research and I'm also obligated to keep copies as proof."

"And who has the other copies?"

"That's not your concern."

Carisi throws the empty chair across the room and though he was angry, he gets into McGuire's face and calmly speaks. "Try again." 

* * *

"I found his card on my desk one day. I have no idea who put it there and I didn't ask. And at the time we were looking for a primary doctor for the kids at the group homes." Ashley explains to Olivia inside the other interrogation room.

"And how did Lauren react the first time you brought her there?" Olivia asks.

Ashley shrugs. "She was quiet. But that was normal for Lauren. She barely spoke since we picked her up from the hospital when she was three. We didn't think anything of it."

"And you didn't stay in the room while he was examining her?"

"No. Dr. McGuire would always say it would be better if it was just him with Lauren because sometimes kids would rather speak up that way."

"Yeah. With therapist and police!" Olivia snaps. "What did he tell you after the examination?"

"Just that he thought it would be best if we took Lauren out of the home. I didn't question him."

"And how was Lauren after?"

Ashley sighs; a silent tear falling down her cheek as she looks back up at Olivia. "Quiet." 

* * *

Everyone is gathered inside Olivia's office looking through both windows at McGuire and Ashley. Ashley had nothing else to tell them. It was obvious she didn't know McGuire as well as she thought she did. And McGuire was refusing to say anything else. Fortunately, he hasn't lawyer-ed up yet, so he was either very cocky, or incredibly stupid.

Olivia really wanted this case to involve Lauren as a little as possible. It only took a day for Lauren to completely shut Olivia out, and Olivia was nervous that if this prolonged then Lauren could shut her out for good. But she and the squad know they have to get Lauren to the precinct to I.D. McGuire officially being as she is the only witness/victim they have for right now. Plus, they needed to see if she could identify the other children in the photos.

Carisi walks in holding a folded blue outlined paper. "Barba got us the warrant to search McGuire's home."

"Great. You and Amanda go there. I need to get rid of Ashley and call CPS to explain what's going on. Lauren will need a new case worker. Then I'll go pick up Lauren." Olivia says, taking a deep breath before walking towards the door that leads to Ashley.

"Liv, don't worry about it. I'll get her." Fin tells her.

Olivia looks a little surprised. "Fin, are you sure? She gets jumpy around people she doesn't know."

Fin smiles. "Uncle Fin's got this." He walks out leaving Olivia shaking her head with a grin.

"Good luck." She says to herself. 

* * *

Amanda, Carisi, and the CSU squad bust into McGuire's home; all going their separate ways to search for more evidence. One by one, everything that was once on the shelves were now on the floor. Every drawer and cabinet opened. Every door opened to every room searched. Inside one of the rooms, a CSU guy is searching through McGuire's computer while Carisi is looking through the drawers and closet. He comes across a box on the top shelf of the closet and brings it down. Inside of the box is a ton of papers, files, and even pictures. Pictures of different girls of all ages, and a few pictures of one in particular.

"Rollins!" Carisi yells out.

Amanda runs in. "What you got?"

Carisi shows her one of the pictures. "Please tell me that's not who I think it is with who I know it is."

Amanda stares wide eyed at the picture, recognizing them right away. "Lauren."

"And Johnny D." Carisis finishes.

They look wide eyed at one another. They were all aware that Johnny D was Lauren's father, but they had no idea that he knew about her, nor did they know that she actually spent time with him.

"There's also files filled with pictures of under-aged children ranging from ages one to fifteen." The CSU guy tells the two, breaking their thoughts, but suddenly he gets quiet.

"What?" Amanda urges.

Carisi looks closer. "What is that?"

"It's a spreadsheet. He was selling and buying these kids from different people. These are their names, different wages, the year and month from each payment. There's over a thousand pages." The CSU guy shows them.

"Okay. We have to get this to Liv." Amanda grabs what she can and she and Carisi head out. 

* * *

At Olivia's apartment, Lucy opens the door for Fin. Olivia called her to let her know that Fin was going to be stopping by to pick up Lauren to bring her back to the precinct, and Lucy informed her that Lauren was still in the closet. Lucy tried bribing Lauren with food, even candy when that didn't work, just so that she would eat something. Even Noah tried getting his sister out, but Lauren wasn't budging. The closet is where she's always felt the safest because she would never be found, and since McGuire knows where she is at and who she is living with now, Lauren felt the need to feel safe again.

"She's been in her room, well, her closet, since Olivia left." Lucy informs Fin.

"Stubborn just like her mama." Fin says. Lucy smirks at the sound of Olivia already being called Lauren's mom. But it was inevitable, though. Olivia was indeed Lauren's mom, whether it was on paper right now or not. Olivia's Lauren's mom. Someone who doesn't know the family would no doubt assume that those kids were indeed Olivia's biological kids. Lauren and Noah look more like Olivia than their own parents; almost as if they were destined to be Olivia's children.

Lucy follows Fin into Lauren's room. Her room was really coming together after just being there a week. She had a nice queen size bed, with a purple bedspread. Olivia learned that Lauren's favorite color was purple, just like hers, and Lauren insisted everything purple. Her bookshelf was filled with her books and more books Olivia bought when they went to the bookstore. Her closet was filled with new clothes, and below those new clothes Fin found a tiny little girl reading a book almost as big as her.

"Hey, Lauren." Lucy says, as she and Fin bend down at the doorway, making sure to keep their distance without scaring her. "Fin is here."

"Hey, Lauren. You remember me, right?" Fin says with a kind smile.

Lauren peeks her head out from behind the book. "You work with Olivia." She says, quietly.

"I'll leave you two to it." Lucy says and walks out of the room.

"Olivia couldn't make it, so she asked me to come and pick you up."

"No." Lauren shakes her head. "I'm not going there. He's there. I'm not going!"

Fin makes himself more comfortable on the floor, and leans against the wall. He had a feeling he was going to be awhile. "I'm not going to lie to you, kid, because you seem like a very smart girl, and you deserve the truth. That man's there, and he can't hurt you. You have the best squad on your side and we will make sure no one comes near you again. I can promise you that."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I always make promises I can keep. You gonna learn that about me. You can trust us, Lauren, especially Olivia. I mean, I've worked with Olivia for almost twenty years now."

"That's a long time."

"Tell me about it. And if anyone knows Olivia, that's me. And I know that she won't stop until she has every person who has ever hurt you behind bars." Fin assures her.

"He's going to hurt her." Lauren says, quietly, but Fin still heard her.

"Olivia's tough."

"You don't understand. He knows who she is now. He knows where I am. He always finds me. He'll tell them to take me away again. He couldn't have me before when I went with Olivia, so he's going to find someone who will!" Lauren stresses out.

"Baby girl, it's different now. We won't let anyone take you away, and I WILL promise you that. You have people who will protect you. But, there's also some other kids that need protection, too, and for us to do that, we need your help down at the precinct. What do you say, kid?"

Fin can see the wheels turning in Lauren's head wondering if she should trust him or not. "Will you stay with me the whole time?"

"I got your back." Fin puts his fist up. Lauren smirks, and bumps it with her very small one. 

* * *

Back at the precinct, everyone is gathered around the round table looking at everything Carisi and Amanda found inside of McGuire's home. McGuire was still in the interrogation room still sitting there with a smug look on his face. It took everything in Olivia not to walk in there and break his face, but she had to think about Lauren.

Olivia is staring at the picture Carisi found at McGuire's of Lauren and Johnny D. She witnessed first hand how disgusting this man was and what he did to these young girls. Knowing he actually held Lauren in his arms made her wonder what he could have possibly done to her.

"Lauren had to be at least two years-old here." Olivia says.

"Why would he give away Lauren?" Carisi wonders. "He tried fighting for Noah when he found out about him. Why not his daughter?"

"She's a girl." Olivia says, simply, everyone silently understanding what she means.

"We have to get him to talk." Amanda tells them. "He has spreadsheets upon spreadsheets of girls he bought and sold starting from the 80's. We need to find out where these girls are and who they are."

Olivia sees Fin and Lauren walk in. "Then get him talking." Olivia orders them. Amanda and Carisi head to the interrogation room. Olivia hides the photos so Lauren can't see them. "Hey!" She greets them.

Lauren is holding tightly to Fin's hand. "Told you I could get her here." Fin brags, grinning from ear to ear.

Olivia rolls her eyes with a small smile as she kneels down in front of Lauren. "Hey, sweetheart. How are you doing?" Lauren just looks at her. "Did you eat?" Lauren looks up at Fin.

"How about you go sit at my desk and we'll be right there to get started." Fin tells her. Lauren nods and runs to Fin's desk, jumping right on top his chair. Olivia looks back at Fin. "She's scared." Fin answers before Olivia can even ask.

"Scared? Of me?" Olivia asks.

"What? No. Of McGuire. She thinks if she gets close to you then they'll take her away. She believes he'll tell the social worker to take her away again so that she'll go to another home to people who will have no problem taking her to him."

"What? That's crazy. She's isn't going anywhere."

"I told her that. But, she's ten years-old, Liv. She's going to believe what she wants until someone proves her wrong." Fin explains. "I explained that we have him in custody and she's safe, but like I said-"

"Yeah." Olivia nods, understanding Lauren's insecurity. "Since when you speak children?" Olivia smirks.

"I got a son, remember?"

Olivia nods. "Thanks, Fin."

"Hey. I got your back, too. Now, let's do this." Fin says, as he begins walking to Lauren. 

* * *

Amanda slams down the photo of Johnny D and Lauren onto the table in front of McGuire. "How do you know him?" She asks, sternly.

McGuire raises his brows and laughs. "Cute kid."

This time Amanda slams her hand down. "The man. How do you know him?"

"Am I supposed to?"

"We found this in your house. You can't deny you don't know him." Carisi tells him.

McGuire lets out a breath. "Old friends. So, what?" He finally answers.

"This man was known for human trafficking young girls when he was alive. And according to these spreadsheets we also found, you continued his little legacy. So you either worked for him or you worked with him!"

"I don't work for anyone. I am a doctor."

"A doctor who sells and buys little girls. A doctor who takes little girls into their office and rapes and abuses them!" Amanda yells in his face.

"But don't worry. Once we get these girls to I.D. you, we won't need your confession. It's their word against your's, and that and this evidence will be enough to send you to Rikers for the rest of your life." Carisi threatens as he and Amanda walk out. 

* * *

Olivia, Fin, Amanda, and Carisi are standing around glancing at Lauren. Lauren identified a few of the kids in the photos, only because some of them were in the group homes with her. Sadly, she never seen them again once they left. She still hasn't looked at Olivia and said anything. When she was asked a question, she would only turn to Fin and answer. Olivia hated that Lauren was shutting her out because she thought she was doing the right thing and protecting Olivia, but Olivia wasn't sure how to explain to Lauren that everything would be okay.

"We need to call social services and show them the pictures of these girls." Amanda tells them. "They can give us some last names and/or hopefully find them for us. Maybe they were just placed in a home."

"And maybe they are being sold and bought throughout New York." Carisi adds.

"Either way, we have names and these pictures, and Lauren's testimony. We have enough evidence to send him away. I'll call Barba." Fin tells them.

"And CPS is on their way. Arrest McGuire." Olivia tells them. Carisi walks away and Olivia turns to Lauren and walks over to her. "Hey, sweetie." She says, kneeling down in front of her. Lauren puts down the game she was playing on Olivia's ipad and looks up at Olivia. "Thank you for helping us today. You did so good. Lauren, please talk to me." Olivia pleads.

Lauren looks up when she sees Carisi leading McGuire out in handcuffs. He looks towards her and smiles. "Hello, again, Lauren."

Lauren jumps up, wide-eyed. "I'm sorry! Please don't take me away again! Don't hurt them, please!"

Olivia grabs Lauren around her waist so she doesn't run. "Lauren-"

McGuire continues smiling down at Lauren. "I'll be seeing you later, Lauren." Carisi pushes him roughly towards the door, while McGuire continues smiling as he watches Lauren until he can't see her anymore.

"Lauren." Olivia says, moving Lauren so she is standing face to face. Suddenly, Lauren bends over and pukes onto the floor, before bursting in tears and falling into Olivia's arms.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Lauren repeats over and over into Olivia's shoulder as she cries.

Olivia picks Lauren up and heads straight to her office to calm Lauren down. "Hey. Shh. It's okay. You did nothing wrong."

"I didn't want him to hurt you!" Lauren cries, as Olivia sits Lauren down on her sofa. She grabs a couple of tissues and wipes Lauren's face. "He's going to take me away. He knows I live with you now!"

"Lauren, he is not going to take you away." Olivia tells her.

"He will. He's going to get out and find us!"

"Okay. Lauren, you need to calm down, baby. You are going to make yourself sick again." Olivia sits next to her and brings Lauren onto her lap. "I want you to listen to me. And if this is something I have to tell you everyday until you believe me then I will do it. That man will never, NEVER, hurt you ever again. You are safe with me, Lauren."

"They can take me away." Lauren interrupts.

"They can try." Olivia threatens. "But they won't. You are stuck with me. And you are stuck with those people out there because we are now your family. And for us to get through this we need to work together. You are helping us out so much and because of you, this will go very fast. We will be able to put him away for the rest of his life with everything that you have told us, and with all the evidence we found. He will never be able to hurt you or another person ever again. Now, do you understand me?" Lauren nods slowly. "Good. And I also need you to keep talking to me. Don't shut me out. I need you, Lauren. You've only been with me for a week and I can't see my life without you. You and your brother have changed everything, and I don't want that to ever go away. If you need to be alone, that's fine. I will respect that. But promise to come to me. I want to help you. We can help each other. Okay?"

"Okay." Lauren whimpers.

"Good. Now, come here." Lauren wraps her small arms around Olivia's neck and hugs her tightly. Olivia smiles as she rests her face on the side of Lauren's head, praying she got through, but understanding that this is something she may have to keep going through with Lauren before she completely understands, and feels secure.

And Olivia was okay with that.


	6. Daughter

It's early Monday morning, and Lauren is standing in front of her mirror dressed in her new uniform for her new school. She's not going to a catholic school, but Olivia felt it was best, considering what she's experienced when it came to public schools, to put Lauren into a simple private school. Dressed in her white button down shirt, and blue pants, Lauren refused to let Olivia buy skirts. But Lauren put her own personality into her school uniform by wearing blue converse and wearing her new purple backpack on her back. Olivia allowed Lauren to express herself how she wanted as long as it didn't hurt herself or someone else, and as she continued looking at herself, Lauren couldn't help but think back on her life. She had never experienced this sort of kindness before, ever, and now she was receiving it every single day with Olivia. It's all still hard to believe.

McGuire is sitting in Riker's right now awaiting trial. The detectives are searching for the other girls in the pictures, but were coming up unsuccessful and thinking the worst may have happened. But being the squad that they are, they weren't giving up. McGuire eventually asked for his lawyer after the detectives kept continuously asking about Johnny D. He wasn't saying anything now, but they all knew that eventually he'd give in.

Olivia's bed was all but empty since that day at the precinct. Olivia would wake up to find Lauren holding Noah's hand, both waiting for permission to enter the bed. It was going to take a some time for Lauren to feel completely safe again, but in the meantime Olivia had no problem being her safe haven even if Lauren dragged her little brother along with her.

Olivia walks into the doorway of Lauren's room, and smiles slightly as she watches Lauren study herself. It amazed her how much Lauren has changed since the first time they met in that hospital room. Sure, she's still skittish and insecure, but she's become so loving and cuddly, Olivia fell in love with her everyday. The way she and Noah cared so much for one another was beautiful to watch. And since her breakdown the other day in Olivia's office after seeing her nightmare in real life, Lauren's been extra clingy. They'd end their nights watching tv or reading a book, and Olivia would have both children under her arms, holding her tight. She'd even wake up with little feet and arms around her. She wasn't quite sure how she became to blessed, but Olivia was glad it happened.

"Hey, school girl. You're looking good." Olivia says, walking closer.

Lauren grimaces. "Do I have to?"

Olivia grins and sits down on Lauren's bed. She reaches over and grabs Lauren's hands, gently pulling her over. "You are going to do so well." And in that moment of just staring at Lauren, Olivia finally sees the little girl Lauren's always meant to be. Not a ten year-old going on twenty year-old who's been through more than most adults have ever been through. A kid, a child, a little girl, who is finally going to be able to be a kid. Olivia was going to make sure she gave Lauren the normal life she deserves despite the bad memories that she will always have behind her. 

* * *

At the school, Olivia and Lauren are standing hand-in-hand in front of Lauren's classroom. She is starting in the middle of the year, so Lauren couldn't help but be nervous. Though, she's done this many times before, this felt different because this could possibly be her school for a very long time. Plus, everyone knows each other, and she's the new kid; the foster kid they will soon find out who has been in and out of different homes and schools. A foster daughter to a cop.

"Are you ready?" Olivia asks.

Lauren stares inside the classroom at all the kids putting their books and bags away at their desk. She squeezes Olivia's hand tighter, not wanting to let go. "Please don't go." Lauren begins to tear up as she looks up at Olivia.

Olivia frowns, and kneels down in front of Lauren. "Hey. You are going to do great."

"No, I won't." Lauren cries, shaking her head. "I change my mind. I don't want to go to school."

Olivia wipes Lauren's tears away, lovingly. "Honey, you have to. And if you need anything, anything at all, the school has my number. I'll come here right away." Lauren looks into the classroom again, still unsure. "Hey. Do you remember that picture me, you, and Noah took together the other day?" Lauren nods, slowly. "Well, I printed out a few copies. What do you say about keeping one?" Olivia takes the picture out of her coat pocket. Noah is laying across Olivia's back, his arms wrapped around her neck, as Olivia holds Lauren in her arms in front of her. All of them with big smiles on their faces. Lauren smiles slightly at the picture. The only picture, so far, that she has ever taken that holds a good memory. "Put it right here in your pocket." Olivia says, placing the picture inside of Lauren's pants pocket. "And whenever you get scared, just take this out and we'll be there. Okay?"

"I don't want to." Lauren stresses again.

"I don't want you to either. But we are going to be okay. I'll be at work, Noah is at daycare, and at three I'll be here to pick you up. We're all going to concur this day together. Okay?" Olivia says, holding back her own tears. Lauren reaches down and hugs Olivia.

"Are you ready, Lauren?" Her new teacher, Mrs. Robbins asks Lauren as she steps out of the classroom with a big smile on her face.

Lauren looks at the teacher then back Olivia. "Just look at your picture." Olivia smiles, brushing her fingers through Lauren's hair and kissing her, gently, on the forehead.

Lauren turns to the classroom and slowly follows the teacher inside. She finds her desk and Olivia watches as Lauren sulks down into the big desk that looks like it's practically swallowing her. Olivia wishes she could stay all day, but she needed to get back to work. 

* * *

Olivia is sitting at her desk, looking at a copy of the picture she had given Lauren, thinking about her kids and how far both of them, and herself, have come. Amanda walks in and knocks on the door, breaking Olivia out of her trance.

"Hey, Liv?" Olivia looks up. "Guess who's ready to talk." Olivia smirks, and follows Amanda out of her office.

At Rikers, Olivia and Amanda are sitting in a room with McGuire and his lawyer.

"So, you're ready to talk now. Why?" Olivia asks.

"We want to make a deal." McGuire's lawyer offers.

Amanda scoffs as she and Olivia shake their heads in disbelief. "Seriously?" Amanda asks. "For kidnapping, rape, and trafficking? What kind of deal do you really think you can get for that?"

"Because there's others out there like me, and I can give you names." McGuire tells them, sounding bored.

"We have your spreadsheets of all your clients."

"That's just some of them." McGuire admits.

Olivia and Amanda look at one another. "First, we want to know how you got Lauren in the first place."

"No. Deal first." McGuire argues.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "What do you want?"

"15." His lawyer offers.

"15? Really?" Amanda laughs.

"25." Olivia says. Even though she hated to just give him that, she needed answers. And knowing Lauren is safe was all that mattered.

McGuire and his lawyer whisper in one another's ear. "If Barba can promise it, then fine." The lawyer tells them.

"How'd you find Lauren?"

McGuire takes a deep breath before he starts explaining. "I was old friends with Johnny. We met in my first year of med school."

"Johnny went to college?" Amanda questions.

McGuire laughs. "No. We just met there. I needed some fast cash and Johnny offered me a job. We worked together for years."

"Trafficking women-" Amanda adds.

McGuire nods. "We started getting big cash and just got deeper into it. I was enjoying it. School was paid for, among other things. I started working at a hospital and doing side jobs for Johnny when he needed it."

"What kind of side jobs?" Olivia asks.

"Just making sure the girls were in shape and look good."

"How did you end up with Lauren?" Amanda asks.

"One of the girls got pregnant. She wanted to keep it, but Johnny wouldn't let her. He decided to keep her for himself because, you know, she's a girl, and when she got older-"

"Skip to how you got her." Olivia interrupts him.

McGuire rolls his eyes, but continues. "She cried too much. He was going to just give her away, but I told him I'd pay for her. And since it was me, he asked me to just keep an eye on her. That's why I offered my services to Ashley to get the foster parents to bring her to me for check-ups, and whatever else. Plus, Ashley was just a happy bonus."

"If you wanted her so badly, why didn't you keep her?" Amanda asks.

"Johnny was right. She cried so much. She went to sleep crying and woke up crying. And no matter how much medicine I'd give her to shut her up, she wouldn't. So, I dropped her off at the hospital. I knew that I'd see her again because I had planned on working there."

"What were you doing for two years before you started working at Mercy?"

"Other jobs. I needed to by some time to make sure the kid wouldn't recognize me when I started working there."

"Is that enough?" McGuire's lawyer asks.

Olivia and Amanda glance another before both standing up and walking out without a word. They got what the needed, even if it's not what they wanted to hear. 

* * *

During lunch period, Lauren finds an empty table in the cafeteria and sits down, opening her lunchbox. Olivia packed her your typical lunch: sandwich, chips, apple, juice, and water. Something Lauren never experienced with her foster parents.

Lauren's morning was what she expected it to be. After watching Olivia leave through the window, Lauren was left alone surrounded by people she didn't know. The teacher was the only one who spoke to her and that was only to catch her up on what they were doing that day and to introduce the class to her. Other than that, no one has said a word. Lauren looks around the cafeteria and her eyes find some girls sitting a few tables down looking at her and laughing; whispering to one another. Usually, at her other schools, Lauren would say something, even fight them, but at this one, Lauren was desperate to not disappoint Olivia. She couldn't risk being sent back. So, Lauren closes her lunchbox and walks away from the table, the kids, the cafeteria, to a safe place. Her safe place. 

* * *

Olivia and Amanda walk back into the precinct with all that McGuire told them weighing on them. They weren't sure if the deal they made was the right one to make with McGuire. But not having enough proof of his past and only getting the story of which he told had to be good enough. Just admitting to what he did to Lauren and those other girls had to be enough. So Olivia had to keep telling herself. Her main focus now had to be Lauren and Noah, and getting Lauren on track to a normal and happy life. PTSD is a long recovery. Olivia knows that. She's been through that. But having a ten year-old suffer through it is a whole other story.

"How'd it go?" Carisi asks from his desk.

"He admitted to everything." Olivia tells him. "But only after wanting a deal."

"Do we even want to know?" Fin asks, sarcastically.

"Twenty-five."

"Yeah. I didn't want to know."

"I'll call Barba." Amanda says, walking to her desk.

Olivia's cell phone starts ringing. "Hello?" She answers. "What?!" Olivia hangs up and runs out the precinct with no explanation and everyone looking confused. 

* * *

Olivia runs into Principal Evans' office where the guidance counselor, Mrs. Torres, and Lauren's teacher Mrs. Robbins are waiting.

"Where is she?" Olivia panics.

"Lieutenant Benson, we're so sorry. We still haven't found her." Mrs. Robbins tell her.

"What do you mean you haven't found her? Where could she have gone!?"

"We've looked everywhere. The last time we saw her she was in the cafeteria."

"Have you checked all the classrooms, the security cameras, the bathrooms?!" Olivia asks as they all start rushing down the hallway.

"We checked the bathrooms and all the classrooms. We haven't checked the security cameras yet." Mrs. Torres explains.

Olivia begins opening all the doors down the hallway, looking into every room. Lauren wouldn't just run away. When she tries to open the janitor's closet, it's locked. "Open this!" Olivia yells.

Principal Evans unlocks the door, and Olivia throws the door open. Silent tears fall when she sees Lauren sitting against a wall, her knees up to her chest, holding the picture Olivia gave her this morning in her hands. "Oh my gosh." Mrs. Robbins says, relieved.

"Lauren." Olivia rushes to her side, bringing Lauren into her arms. "Lauren, are you okay?"

"I didn't know where to go." Lauren tells Olivia, calmly.

"You can't just run away like that, okay!?" Olivia says, sternly, shaking her a little.

Lauren looked UN-phased, though, by Olivia's fearful eyes. "They just kept looking at me."

"Who, honey?"

"Everyone."

Olivia wasn't sure how to respond. So, she simply brings Lauren closer and hugs her. 

* * *

At the precinct, Olivia is sitting in her office, watching from her desk at Lauren sleeping on the couch. She kept thinking about how she needed to teach Lauren to find her safe place with her or someone else instead of running away to a closet and hiding. It might feel safe for now, but now Lauren has people around her that care for her and love her, and running away, hiding, was not safe if those people don't know where she is.

Amanda walks in. "How's she doing?"

Olivia shrugs. "She fell asleep as soon as I layed her down. I think maybe putting her in school, around all those kids, may have been too soon."

"Liv, it had been over a week. She needs some sort of normalcy, and going to school is a good first step. She needs to learn to be a kid."

Olivia sighs. "Yeah. I know. You're right. I called George to come and talk to her. With everything with McGuire the last couple days, she's closing off."

"And if she doesn't talk, she can have another major breakdown." Amanda finishes. "It's a good thing she has you now." She smirks.

Olivia smiles, gratefully. "What did Barba say?"

"He's fine, if we're fine. I told him we weren't, but ya know, it is what it is." Amanda takes another look at Lauren. "Take her home, Liv. Be with her and Noah. We're okay here. You know that. I'll make Fin handle the paperwork." She jokes.

"Thanks, Amanda." Olivia laughs. Amanda nods and walks out of the office leaving Olivia once again looking at Lauren. 

* * *

Back home, Lauren and Noah are sitting together on the couch watching a movie when there's a knock at the door. Olivia looks up from her paperwork she brought home and walks to the door, confused on who could be behind it. She opens it to find a short, plump woman in a suit standing in front of her.

"Hello?"

"Lieutenant Olivia Benson?" The woman questions.

"Yes."

"My name is Miranda Wilson. I am Lauren's new social worker." She introduces herself.

Olivia shakes her hand, looking a bit surprised. "Oh. Yes. Hi. Come in." When she walks in, Lauren is already standing in front of the couch. Olivia can see the fear in her eyes as she watches Mrs. Wilson walk in. "Lauren, this is Mrs. Wilson. She's your new social worker."

"Please don't take me away." Lauren begs, tears already coming down her red cheeks.

"Lauren-" Olivia says, carefully.

"Lauren, I'm just your new social worker. I wanted to come and introduce myself and take a look around." Mrs. Wilson tells her.

Lauren shakes her head. "No. I don't believe you!" She yells. "You're going to take me away because of what happened at school!"

Mrs. Wilson looks over at Olivia. "What happened at school?"

Olivia shakes her head. "It was nothing. Just first day jitters." Olivia walks over to Lauren. "Lauren, no one is taking you. Mrs. Wilson is just doing her job."

"You're lying!" Lauren yells. She tries to run away, but Olivia catches her in her arms. She was not going to let Lauren run away and hide again. They were going to face this together.

"I'm not lying, Lauren!" Olivia says, raising her voice so that Lauren will hear her. She looks over at Noah, who is still sitting on the couch, and watching Lauren fight to get out of Olivia's arms. "Lauren! Lauren! Listen to me, baby. You're not going anywhere, okay?" Lauren slowly calms down and turns in Olivia's arms so they are face to face. "You trust me, right?" As tears fall from Lauren's eyes, she glances at Mrs. Wilson then back at Olivia and nods her head slowly. "Good girl." Olivia says, brushing away Lauren's tears with her thumbs. "Now, I need you to take Noah into his room and keep him occupied for me while I speak to Mrs. Wilson. Can you do that for me?" Lauren nods her head again. "Thank you." Olivia gives her a quick kiss to her forehead before letting her go. Lauren walks over to Noah and grabs his hand, leading him away to his room to play while she continues to take side glances towards the adults.

"Let's talk." Mrs. Wilson says as Olivia takes a stand, breathing out and turning back towards Mrs. Wilson. 

* * *

In the kitchen, Mrs. Wilson and Olivia are sitting at the table. Mrs. Wilson already took a look around the apartment. She checked out Lauren's bedroom, bathroom, and Olivia's room; leaving Noah's room alone, not wanting to scare the children again. And she checked the living room, finishing with the kitchen and now Mrs. Wilson and Olivia are discussing everything that had happened in Lauren's first week.

"I've read through Lauren's file and it seems that you're the only person it looks like she has grown to trust." Mrs. Wilson states.

"It's still a long road." Olivia admits. "I'm slowly trying to lean her out of running away and hiding in a closet, but rather stop and talk to me, or whoever she may want to talk to. You saw first hand at her wanting to run."

"What happened at school?"

Olivia takes a deep breath. "She ran. She got scared. We haven't sat down and discussed exactly what happened yet, but from what she's told me, she ran because everyone was staring at her. She's only been with me for a week, and then she had to go to school and-not be with me. I think it was just a bit overwhelming."

"That's understandable. It looks like you handled it well. It says here she spoke with a therapist when she first arrived." Mrs. Wilson says, looking at Lauren's file.

"Yes. Dr. Huang. I've worked with him for years, and thought it would be a good idea for her to speak to someone she knows that I can trust. I actually made an appointment with him today to discuss with Lauren about what happened at school."

"She and her brother are close?"

Olivia smiles, thinking about the two siblings. "Very. They never leave eachother's side unless they have to. It's pretty amazing to watch. It's rare with siblings, and considering their age difference they've become protective of one another."

Mrs. Wilson is silent for a few moments, looking at Lauren's file and looking up at Olivia. She was trying to find the right way to put her words. "Olivia, looking around and watching you interact with those kids, you got something good here. For ten years Lauren has never bonded with anyone before, ever, until you came into her life. Finding out she has a brother and having you as her foster mother has changed that little girl's life. You're taking the right steps to give Lauren a normal life; the steps to be a little girl again and not have to live this life hiding away and being treated like nothing. You are giving her something. A family." Olivia is just staring in awe, and wondering where exactly Mrs. Wilson is going with this. "Continue doing what you are doing because I am granting you approval for adoption."

"What?" Olivia smiles in disbelief.

Mrs. Wilson nods, confirming. "This is probably the fastest I have ever approved someone. But Lauren has waited long enough."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

Mrs. Wilson stands from the table along with Olivia. "You're very welcome. Now, go be with your children. I'll mail over the paperwork as soon as I get back to the office and we should have everything processed in no time."

Olivia chokes back her tears. "Thank you."

"I'll find my way out." Mrs. Wilson walks away, leaving Olivia smiling as big as humanly possible. 

* * *

Later that night, Lauren is sitting in her bed, dressed in her pajamas, when Olivia walks in. She walks over and sits in front of Lauren, looking very serious.

"We need to talk." Olivia tells her.

Lauren looks down, feeling embarrassed and afraid. They didn't really speak after Mrs. Wilson left them. They continued on with their day per usual. Olivia made them dinner and Lauren and Noah continued to play until it was bedtime. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"Well, thank you for apologizing." Olivia says. "I know you were just scared. So, it's okay."

Lauren looks up, shaking her head. "No. It's not okay. Something is wrong with me."

Olivia suddenly looks very concerned. "What are you talking about, Lauren? Nothing is wrong with you."

"Yes, there is! I'm scared of everything. I'm not used to people being nice to me and you are nice to me all the time, and I don't deserve it."

Olivia grabs Lauren's face, making Lauren look at her. "Hey. No. You don't get to speak that way. Okay!? There is nothing wrong with you. You have just gone through some tough stuff, but don't you dare let that define who you are. You are a beautiful little girl who deserves everyone's love and kindness." Olivia says, sternly. "You are with me to start a brand new life. Starting now we are going to leave your past behind and look forward to our future together because you are a brave and strong girl who can get through anything. And when you feel like you can't, you have me and the whole team ready to help you."

"I'm not leaving?"

"No, baby. You are not leaving." Olivia smiles, softly. "I know school today was hard. You were in a new place surrounded by new people, and it was a little scary. I understand that. It's hard being the new kid."

"They just kept staring at me and laughing. At my old schools I would have just punched them."

Olivia tries to hold back a laugh. "Well, thank you for not punching them. That's not how we want to handle things."

Lauren shrugs. "I didn't want you to be mad."

Olivia brings Lauren into her lap. "Even if I get mad at you, and I'm sure down the road we won't always agree with eachother, I will never send you away. When Mrs. Wilson showed up at our door, you thought you were leaving. I wish you never had to go through all those horrible things you went through in your past foster homes to make you question everything, but I need you to remember, and I can't stress this enough to you and your stubborn little head-" Olivia groans, playfully while tickling Lauren's side making her laugh. "-that you aren't going anywhere. I don't care if we fight, scream, and yell at eachother, or if one day you and Noah decide you annoy one another, you are here to stay, babe. Do you understand me?" Lauren nods. "No. I mean it, Lauren. Do you understand me? I don't want you to run away again. I don't want you to hide inside any closets. I need you to come to me. And if you aren't comfortable talking to me, then I want you to go to someone you are comfortable with. Okay? Can you promise me that?"

Lauren nods again. "I promise."

"Good." Olivia says and kisses her gently on the forehead.

"I love you, Olivia."

This time Olivia couldn't hold back her tears. Lauren had never said those words before to anyone. After a week of having Lauren and watching her hold back all her emotions, finally she was tearing down some walls, and trusting someone. Olivia brings Lauren to her chest, holding her close. "Oh, sweetheart. I love you so much." 

* * *

The next day, Lauren decided to face school once again. As she stands in front of her classroom with Olivia by her side, Lauren takes a few deep breaths, working herself up to go in.

"You can do this, Lauren." Olivia tells her.

Lauren looks up and she and Olivia smile at one another. "You'll be here at three?" She asks.

Olivia brushes her fingers across Lauren's cheek. "I'll be here." She promises.

Lauren takes another deep breath and walks inside. As she sits at her desk, a boy walks up to her and introduces himself to her. Olivia smiles proudly, but her heart drops at the thought of a boy being in her daughter's life.

Daughter. Olivia liked the sound of that.


	7. Priceless

It's been a week since Lauren went back to school and concurred her first full day by herself. Olivia was proud that Lauren was brave enough to face another day and to make a new friend to top it off. Though, she and her squad weren't too happy that it was a boy, whose name is Gavin, that Lauren befriended, but they accepted it anyway. Olivia met him a few times when she'd pick Lauren up from school. He was very innocent; your typical ten year-old boy. But, now-a-days, you can't be too sure with kids, and that's something she and her squad were well aware of.

Although, everything seems like it is going well since McGuire was put away; they still had their mishaps. McGuire is still under investigation, though, and the squad are still trying to find all the victims, so they aren't finished with him just yet. There is still a trial they have to go through.

Lauren still had her nightmares. It was becoming a habit for Olivia to get up in the middle of the night to console Lauren, or she'd wake up to find Lauren crawling into her bed. It all depended on what type of nightmare she had. After only over a month of being with eachother, they were finally showing signs of becoming a family. Despite her night time routine, during the day it was as if she was a normal little ten year-old girl, and that's all Olivia ever wished since Lauren entered her life.

"Hey, baby-girl. How was school?" Fin says, spinning around in his chair while Olivia and Lauren walk in.

"I'm going to play soccer!" Lauren says with enthusiasm as she and Fin bump fist.

"Still undecided." Olivia tells her.

Lauren high fives Amanda as she walks by. "Is that boy playing, too?" Carisi asks, still not happy about the friendship.

Lauren rolls her eyes and continues walking towards Olivia's office. "Get over it, Carisi!"

They all laugh, except for Carisi, as Lauren walks into the office to start her homework while she waited for Lucy to pick her up after picking up Noah from daycare. "Yeah. She's definitely one of us." Fin jokes.

"Lauren wants to play soccer?" Amanda asks, looking curiously at Olivia.

Olivia leans against the table as they all gather around the t.v. "She wants to. Not sure if I want her to." Olivia answers.

"I think it would be good for her. She wants to be involved in activities with other kids." Carisi says.

"No. It is very good." Olivia agrees. "But, I just don't want her to get hurt."

Fin smirks. "Kids get hurt, Liv. Get used to. You have a long way to go."

Olivia rolls her eyes playfully. "Don't remind me. Okay. Anything from the other victims?"

"No. We still only have the three. But, as of right now, Lauren is the only one willing to testify." Amanda explains.

"And that's if she still wants to." Carisi adds.

"She will." Olivia says, confidently. "We still need one more, though. Even though McGuire confessed, that can all change once the trail starts. We all know that. We need to find another, or try convincing who we have to make this all stand in court. Otherwise, this is all for nothing and there's no justice for Lauren or the other thousands in that file." Olivia walks into her office while her squad starts their work. 

* * *

An hour went by and Lauren finished her homework and was now looking over the permission slip for soccer. She didn't know why Olivia was so against her playing soccer, but she knew she had to figure out a way to convince her to say yes. Lauren gets up from off the floor, where she was doing her homework, and walks over to Olivia's desk.

Lauren places the permission slip on top of some files, and ends up moving the folder just a little to reveal some pictures. Curiosity takes the best of her and Lauren slows moves the folder away, seeing that it's pictures of her; ones that McGuire took of her throughout the years.

Olivia walks into her office finding Lauren standing over her desk, staring down at something. "Lauren?" But Lauren doesn't answer her. Olivia walks closer and finds the pictures McGuire had taken of Lauren. "Hey. Lauren." Olivia covers the photos back up and moves them away. "Lauren." She says, placing her hand on Lauren's back to get her attention.

Lauren flinches and finally notices Olivia standing in front of her. "Sorry." She says, looking embarrassed.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Are you alright?" Olivia asks, looking worried.

Lauren nods and picks up the soccer permission slip again. "I was just putting this on your desk. I know you don't want me to play, but just read it."

Olivia sighs and smiles slightly as she sits down and pulls Lauren onto her lap. "It's not that I don't want you to play. I just don't want you to get hurt." Olivia admits.

"But I won't get hurt." Lauren assures her.

Olivia brushes her fingers through Lauren's wavy hair and squeezes her close. "Maybe not. I'm just being overprotective."

Lauren is quiet for a few moments before wrapping an arm around Olivia's neck. "Don't you want me to be involved in school activities so I don't hang around bad influences who will want to force me to take drugs, steal, and have sex?"

Olivia gasps and glares at Lauren. "Okay. From now on, you are going to be locked in this office with headphones so that you can't hear anything." She jokes, as she tickles Lauren.

Lauren squirms around, laughing. "I heard Amanda say it."

Olivia stops and Lauren settles back onto her lap, arms still wrapped around Olivia's neck. "How about I read over this and I'll think about it. Okay?"

Lauren sighs. "Fine."

Olivia glances at the file that has Lauren's pictures in it. "Do you want to talk about what you saw?" Lauren shakes her head, looking away. "Lauren-"

Lauren sees Lucy and Noah. "Lucy's here." She says, changing the subject.

Lucy knocks on the door before walking in, holding Noah's hand. "Hey." She says, smiling. "You ready?"

Lauren jumps up and walks to grab her things, as Noah runs into Olivia's awaiting arms. "Hey. My little man. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah." Noah smiles as he hugs Olivia.

"Oh. I missed you today." She says, placing a kiss onto Noah's head. Lauren walks back over with her backpack resting on her shoulders. Olivia kneels down, placing Noah on the side of her. "Okay. I am going to be home later tonight."

"Really late?" Lauren asks, raising her eyebrows.

"You might be asleep before I get back, but I won't be too late. Okay?" Lauren nods, sadly, as Olivia kisses them each on their cheeks before standing back up. They each grab Lucy's hand and Olivia watches them leave wishing she could go with them. 

* * *

Olivia is sitting at a restaurant with Ed Tucker by her side. She hasn't seen him in a couple months due to him being on a job out of New York. They've been able to chat through text and phone, but finally are able to be together, in person. Last time they were together, they were just returning from their little vacation to Paris. This was a couple weeks before Olivia found out about Lauren. She's told Tucker about the little girl, who had made her heart even bigger, and couldn't wait for the moment that they finally meet. She was sure they would love one another, but Olivia also knows it's going to take a little more time and effort for Lauren to trust and get to know Tucker. Plus, she's still trying to find her place, and Olivia was not going to rush her.

"So, when do you sign those papers for that beautiful little girl." Tucker asks, with a smile. Thinking about Olivia's children made him very happy. Beings that he doesn't have any of his own, but being able to be with Olivia, he can enjoy them and treat them as if they are his own. Which he will. He already won over Noah, and is only hoping it's as easy with Lauren.

Olivia sighs and smiles as she thinks about that green eyed, brown hair little girl. "Hopefully very soon. But, thankfully, it's not going to take as long as it did with Noah. "

"I'm sure she's itching to call you mom."

Olivia laughs. "I hear her slip sometimes, but I don't want to embarrass her, so I ignore it. Even, though, I'm itching to hear it everyday, too. But, I'm ready to make everything official so Lauren can finally breathe. Every time someone knocks on our door she believes it's someone there to take her away."

Tucker grabs Olivia's hand. "Well, it's a good thing she has you there to prove that she isn't." Olivia just smiles and she stares at him. "I can't wait to meet her."

"I can't wait either." Olivia smiles as they lean in to each other. 

* * *

Olivia walks into her apartment a little after eleven.

"How was your date?" Lucy smiles, knowing she was with Tucker.

Olivia smirks. "Great." She answers, putting her things away. "How were the kids?"

Lucy starts putting on her jacket. "Well, Noah fell asleep right after dinner. Must have played too hard at daycare." Lucy says, as they laugh. "Lauren, on the other hand, it took a little bribing to get her to eat her dinner."

"What did you have to bribe her with?" Olivia asks, curiously.

"She wanted to read an extra chapter out of the book I gave her before going to bed." Lucy starts walking to the door. "You have some special kids on your hands, Liv." She jokes.

"Oh, I know. Thanks, Lucy."

"Oh, and you have a visitor in your bed. She walked in there, without a word, about an hour and half ago."

Olivia sighs. "Thanks, Lucy." Lucy simply waves and walks out. Olivia walks into Noah's room to find him sound asleep, knowing he is too knocked out to make his way into her room in the middle of night tonight. She closes his door, leaving a small crack, and starts walking to her room. Lauren is sprawled out on the bed and it's obvious that she had a bad dream. Lauren probably woke up, still not seeing Olivia beside her, and decided to brave it out and force herself back to sleep. But it obviously didn't go too well considering the comforter is halfway off of her and her arms are hang all around her. Olivia smiles sadly, and decides to take a quick shower before climbing into bed with Lauren. 

* * *

After fifteen minutes, Olivia walks back into her bedroom to find the comforter has hit the floor, and Lauren is moving about-still asleep. She walks over, grabbing the comforter off the floor, and places it over Lauren while she also gets in beside her. Olivia goes to fix Lauren's arms, but when she touches her, Lauren jumps up.

"No!" She yells, out of breath, and looks around frantically.

Olivia quickly gets in front of Lauren, so she sees her face. "Hey. It's just me." Olivia says, brushes her fingers across Lauren's cheeks. "You're okay."

"I woke up and you weren't home." Lauren says, as tears fall down her red cheeks.

"I'm home now." Olivia tells her. "I'm home now. Come on." Olivia wraps her arms around Lauren and pushes her down with her back onto the bed. "I'm here now." Lauren melts into Olivia's arms and just closes her eyes, slowly drifting back to sleep leaving Olivia wondering how many times Lauren has woke up tonight while she was gone. 

* * *

The next morning, Olivia and the kids got up early to eat breakfast together and to spend a little time with one another before having to go their separate ways. The rest of the night went better once Olivia got home. Olivia knows the pictures that Lauren had seen in her office, earlier that day, triggered some memories which caused the nightmares. Which is also why Olivia made the decision last night that she is sure is going to make one little girl very happy.

Olivia is putting the breakfast plates away while Lauren walks out of her room, dressed in her uniform, hair is pulled back into a long ponytail, and she is fitting her backpack onto her back as she walks into the kitchen. Olivia smiles, slightly, at the sight of her. If someone didn't know Lauren, they would just think she was a normal little girl who has never known abuse or feeling unloved.

Olivia hands Lauren her permission slip when she approaches. Lauren looks confused at first and then she sees Olivia's signature at the bottom of the paper.

"Really?" She asks, smiling widely.

Olivia nods. "Only if you can promise me that you will try and be very careful. I also don't want you to fall back on your school work. You're still catching up."

"I promise! I promise!" Lauren yells, jumping up, and hugging Olivia around her waist. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"You're welcome." Olivia laughs. "I was also thinking after school, I'll pick you up and we'll go buy some soccer gear for you."

"Really!?" Olivia nods, laughing at Lauren's excitement. "Okay! Let's go! Let's go!" Lauren grabs Olivia's hand and tries to pull her closer to the door. "Let's get school over with!"

Olivia laughs. "Go wait by the door, crazy girl. We can't leave Noah here." Olivia turns back around and grabs Noah from his bedroom before setting off to drop them both off at school. 

* * *

Olivia pulls up to Lauren's school, and Lauren sits up from the backseat and leans across the middle console, resting on her elbows as she looks at Olivia.

"You promise you're not going to be late?" Lauren asks.

Olivia playfully glares at Lauren. "Am I ever late picking you up?"

"Well-"

"Besides the times that a case comes up." Olivia interrupts.

"Okay. Thank you again!" Lauren laughs and kisses Olivia on her cheek and kisses Noah on his cheek before climbing out of the car.

"Have a great day." Olivia laughs. Lauren waves and then runs to meet Gavin up the stairs of the school. 

* * *

Olivia walks into the precinct, after dropping Noah off at daycare, with a small smile on her face.

"You look happy." Amanda tells her.

"I am." Olivia confirms.

"Let me guess. You lettin Lauren play soccer." Fin says.

Olivia rolls her eyes. "Yes. I gave in. And she is so happy. I'll have to get out of here early today to pick her up. We're going get some soccer gear for her."

"I think you just made a little girl's dream come true." Amanda laughs.

"She's so happy. I want her to try and be a normal kid. So, if soccer is going to do that for her then who am I to take that away from her?"

"You're a good mom, Lieutenant" Carisi tells her.

Olivia nods, and smiles, gratefully, before walking into her office. Amanda and Carisi follow Olivia into her office. "Okay. We have some good news. We found one girl who is willing to testify against McGuire."

Olivia raises her eyebrows. "Really?" She asks, sounding surprised. "Is she around here?"

"Connecticut." Carisi answers. "But she and her parents will be here in a couple days to come and speak with us."

"Her name is Kayla and she's fourteen, and was adopted three years ago. Her case worker advised her many foster parents to send her to McGuire."

"Did she have any links to Johnny D?" Olivia asks.

Amanda shakes her head. "Thankfully, no. Which is why I think she doesn't have a problem tesifying. A lot of the girls we spoke to knew Johnny D, and his gang."

Olivia nods, understanding. "Okay. Well, this is good. Lauren's testimony, alone, may not have been enough. Have we spoke to any of the other girls?"

"A few of them." Amanda tells her. "They'll get back to us when they make a decision. For now, we just have Lauren and Kayla."

"And, right now, that's good enough. Alright. I have to go meet Barba for our meeting about the trial. I'll be back in a couple hours." 

* * *

At the middle school, Lauren and Gavin are sitting outside during their lunch hour.

"Livia packed a apple juice and chips." Lauren shows him.

"I'll trade you." Gavin tells her.

Lauren thinks for a moment. "For what?"

"For a cupcake and red juice." Gavin digs out his lunchbox and shows Lauren.

Lauren laughs. "Deal!"

Everyday at lunch since they met, Gavin and Lauren would trade their lunches. Gavin lives with his mom and his two older brothers. It's a fairly normal home; something Lauren never had-until now. Gavin was kind of a loner and didn't hang out with anyone until Lauren showed up. Now, whenever they are together, they are attached at the hip, leaving no room for anyone to bother them.

"Lauren?" Lauren and Gavin look behind them and find Ashley walking over. Lauren squirms in her seat, looking confused. "Hey, Lauren."

"Ashley? What are you doing here? Olivia told me that I wouldn't see you anymore." Lauren tells her.

"Well, something happened and I was asked to come and pick you up."

Lauren jumps up from her seat. "Did something happen to Olivia!?"

"I just need you to come with me, Lauren." Lauren looks at Gavin. She had a bad feeling about this and was worried that something really happened to Olivia or her brother.

"Am I going see Olivia?"

"Just come on." Ashley grabs Lauren's hand, roughly, and forces her to walk away with her. Lauren is looking back at Gavin until she is out of view. Gavin turns back in his seat, also feeling uneasy about what just happened. 

* * *

Olivia is on her phone when she pulls up at Lauren's school later that day. She stands against her car, like she does everyday, and waits for Lauren to meet her. Olivia watches one by one as each group of kids comes running out the double doors of the school. Usually, Lauren is among the third group of kids, but Olivia is confused when she doesn't see her, but only sees Gavin.

"Hey. I'll call you back." Olivia says, hanging up her phone. "Gavin! Gavin!" Gavin stops walking and is surprised to see Olivia. "Remember me? I'm-"

"Lauren's mom." Gavin says. "A lady said something happened to you. But you look okay." He says, looking up and down at Olivia.

Olivia looks confused and kneels down. "What lady, Gavin? Where's Lauren?"

"Some lady came by at lunch and told her she had to go with her. That something happened to you and then she pulled her away."

"What? What did she look like? Did she say her name?"

Gavin thinks for a moment. "Lauren called her Ashley."

"Oh, no." Olivia stands back up and thanks Gavin before running into the school and calling her squad. 

* * *

Olivia and Amanda are looking through the cameras while Fin and Carisi are searching the grounds.

"How could this have even happened?" Amanda asks. "I thought parents or guardians had to sign out the child before taking them during school hours?"

"They do. She said that she was from social services and that she was Lauren's case worker." One of the workers from the office explains.

"And you didn't question why she left Lauren's school bag?"

"We figured she must have just forgot it."

"There she is." Olivia points to the screen. "Lauren looks terrified."

Amanda squeezes Olivia's shoulder. "We are going to find her, Liv."

"McGuire." Olivia runs out of the room with Amanda following closely behind. 

* * *

"Where is she!?" Olivia yells into McGuire's face. "Where's Lauren!?"

McGuire sits back, in his chair, and crosses his arms with a smug smile on his face. "Last time I checked she was playing house with you and your son."

"Where did you tell Ashley to bring her?" Amanda asks. "We know she took her. We have the tapes."

"I don't know anything about that."

"So, you're saying your girlfriend kidnaps Lauren and you have no idea why?" Olivia asks, not believing him.

"I broke up with that lunatic after you and your finest locked me up."

"Have you seen her since?" Amanda asks.

"She's tried, but I refused to see her. She's crazy."

"Do you know where she could have taken Lauren?"

McGuire just looks away, ignoring them. Olivia jumps up and gets in his face. "You better hope she is still breathing when I find her because if she isn't-you won't be!" Amanda grabs Olivia's arm and leads her out of the room before she kills McGuire herself. 

* * *

"Ashley has a beach house about an hour away from here. Her apartment is only fifteen minutes away. We can split up and hit up both." Fin tells everyone in the squad room.

"Okay. Amanda and Carisi, take a group and head to her apartment. Fin and I will take the other group and head to the beach house. Let's go!" Olivia yells. 

* * *

At Ashley's apartment, Amanda, Carisi, and their group run inside. It doesn't look like anyone has been living there for days now. They check every room and come up empty.

"Rollins!" Carisi yells from the other room. Amanda walks in and finds Carisi holding up pictures of Olivia, Lauren, and Noah.

"She's been following them." Amanda states.

Carisi holds up a box full of folders. "She's been following them everyday since she was removed as Lauren's case worker."

"We're pulling up at the beach house. What'd you find?" Olivia asks, through the phone to Amanda.

"Liv, we have pictures of you, Lauren, and Noah dating back to the time Ashley was removed as Lauren's case worker. She's been following you."

"What?"

"We're taking the box back to the precinct."

A cop comes out of the beach house. "It's all clear. But we did find something." Olivia hangs up her phone and runs inside. "This way." He leads them to a closet in a bedroom. "She must have kept Lauren in here."

Olivia looks inside and sees a picture of Lauren. It's from the picture Olivia gave her on her first day of school. The picture of Olivia, Lauren, and Noah. Lauren had torn the picture of her out and left it on the floor, taking the part with Olivia and Noah with her. Olivia grabs it and begins to sob. Fin catches her before she can fall to the floor.

"She knew I'd be looking for her." Olivia cries. "She left this for me."

"Of course she knew. And we are going to find her, Liv." Fin tells her, softly, but confidently as Olivia holds the picture of Lauren close to her chest. 

* * *

Lauren is sitting in a dirty, empty closet with just a little bit of light shining through the crack of the door. She's huddled in the corner, her legs bent closed to her chest and her arms wrapped around them while she looks at the picture of Olivia and Noah in her hand. A silent tear slips down her cheek when the door opens revealing Ashley and a man Lauren's never seen before until now. Lauren quickly hides the picture.

"She'll get sold fast." The dirty man says.

Ashley rolls her eyes. "We're not just sending her off to the first person. I want the best."

They look back down at Lauren. She is still in her school uniform and bruises are forming around her arms and neck from being dragged around. "I'll get you the best." The dirty man smirks before slamming the closet door shut. Lauren hears the padlock and buries herself deeper into the corner as she holds the picture close to her chest.


	8. Lost Girl

Lines of dried blood run up and down her fragile body. Blue and purple bruises are formed from the neck down. She refuses to eat the scraps thrown at her, only causing the weight that was once formed on her body, that was worked so hard for, to slowly disappear. They say once an orphan, always an orphan. It was only a matter of time, she thought, that she'd end up right back where it all started. Being teased by the good life just enough to crave it once it's gone.

She's been looked on, laughed at, kicked at, spit on, punched, and yelled at for three days now. Different people; men and women looking at her as if she is just an object put out for display, and yet still not good enough. How she yurns to be loved again. To be hugged, kissed, and just to simply be looked at like she is special.

But not here..

It's been three days. Three long days that she's been locked in this closet. Closets are supposed to be safe. Not this one. It's dark; with only a simple bit of light shining through the long crack of the door. But once it's dark, the light is no more, and she is alone with just her thoughts, the wall, and this picture in her hands.

The only people who ever treated her like she was one of them. Her very own brother, who thankfully, will never know what it's like to be unloved, abused, or abandoned. His only memories will be of a loving mother and a happy childhood.

Then, there _she_ is. The only person who ever truly wanted her. The only person who ever really wanted to take care of her. The only person she could see herself calling mom. _She_ gave her a place to call home, people to call family, and a future. But, sadly, she's afraid she'll never experience that future. She's afraid she'll never see the one person she considered a mom, or the people she considered family.

As she looks down at the picture she is holding in her tiny hand, passing the time until the doors open again and she is yanked away from her thoughts, she wonders if they are thinking about her, too. If they are searching for her.

If _she_ is holding the picture she left behind for _her_.. 

* * *

Olivia is standing in front of their large computer screen, studying all the possible places Lauren could be, or who she could be with. She's determined to find her little girl, but afraid to find the condition she may be in. She hasn't let go of the picture, that was left behind for her, for three days.

Three days. It feels like it's been longer. She's barely slept. Lucy's been staying at their apartment with Noah until Lauren is back home safe, giving Olivia all the time she needs to find her. It's as if Lauren's disappeared from the face of the earth, but that's impossible. She's somewhere, and Olivia is going to find her. They've checked all the possible places she could have gone. She and her squad have even went through McGuire's list of "clients" in case one of them could be apart of this. But, right now, it seems Ashley is clearly the mastermind of her own plan.

"McGuire has to know something." Amanda says, clearly frustrated with his lack of help. "Ashley didn't just become crazy overnight. There has to be more to her story than what it's telling us."

"I agree." Olivia says, looking as if she could fall down at any moment.

"Liv, you haven't slept in days. At least go get a couple hours. We'll keep working." Fin urges her.

Olivia shakes her head. "No. I'm not sleeping until Lauren is here with me. I wouldn't be able to sleep anyways. We have to be missing something. She can't be far." She says, as she continues looking at the screen hoping something shows up that she's missed.

"I have an idea." Carisi tells them from behind his computer. "But you may not like it."

"If it gets her back, I don't care." Olivia tells him.

Carisi takes a deep breath before he starts explaining. "We know McGuire bought and sold those girls. There's no doubt that Ashley and whoever she is working with because, come on, there's no way she is working alone, aren't doing the same thing. Ashley was fired from her job. She's pissed and she needs money."

"And she kidnapped Lauren to get back at you." Fin finishes, looking at Olivia.

"So, what are you saying?" Olivia asks.

"We go undercover. Get the information on where and how McGuire did his bidding, and we go out there. Hopefully, Lauren will be out there, too." Carisi finishes. The room is quiet, all deep in their own thoughts. "So? What you think?" He asks, after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"It's a great idea." Olivia tells him, surprising them all. "Go talk to McGuire. Force all you can out of him. This may be our last chance at getting Lauren back."

Carisi and Fin nod and walk out of the precinct. Amanda walks up to Olivia. "Liv, are you sure about this?"

"It's our only way. She may or may not be out there, but at least we can say we tried. I'm not stopping, Amanda." Olivia turns back to the screen and looks down at the picture of Lauren in her hand, praying she's still alive. 

* * *

"Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting.. -Peter Pan" 

Lauren wasn't sure what time it was or what day it even is. It's been a long time since she's seen the outside of the this closet, and honestly, she was grateful. Not being out there means not being put out on display. And not being out on display means not being looked at by creepy old men. And it also means not being hit or yelled at. All the time Lauren has spent in that closet, she wonders why this is happening to her. What did she do to deserve this? One day she is sitting at lunch with her best friend and the next she is being dragged away, thrown into a car, and then thrown inside a dark closet. Ashley has been by her side since she was five years-old until Olivia took her in. She's never hurt her before, so why now? She was supposed to be someone Lauren could trust, and now Lauren isn't sure if trust is even a real thing.

Is Olivia out there looking for her? Is she close? Is her squad family with her searching? These thoughts fill Lauren's head everyday and every moment. What is her little brother doing right now? Is Noah wondering where she is? Is he safe?

The closet door suddenly opens and the dirty man pulls her out. "It's time to put you to work." He drags Lauren into a room where another man awaits. "Don't disappoint." The dirty man closes the door behind him, leaving only Lauren and the other man alone.

Lauren sees the mattress and gasps. Memories of her past are coming back. It's all happening again. She turns around and tries to open the door, but it's locked from the outside. The man walks towards her with a smirk on his face. Lauren tries to back further into the wall, but there was no where to go. No where to run.

"You're much prettier in person than your picture." He smiles, reaching for her.

..Is he safe? 

* * *

After a three hours of interrogating, Carisi and Fin were able to get information out of McGuire. He told them about the website he and other people like himself used to do their bidding. It's a secure site that gives details on the whereabouts of where the girls will be. They were able to get an address on where the first bidding place will be that night, but unfortunately there was nothing indicating that Lauren would be there. But they are willing to take a chance and risk going to every place until they find Lauren.

To not risk Ashley recognizing them, Carisi and another woman detective, Ashley hasn't met, named Michelle, make their way to the house. Olivia, Amanda, and Fin are staking out in a surveillance van a few houses down, watching through the cameras Carisi and the other detective are wearing on their clothes.

They watch as Carisi and Michelle walk in. There's a house full of men and some women gathered around drinking. The dirty man, who is helping Ashley, walks up to them.

"I've never seen you two before." He says, suspiciously.

Carisi and Michelle glance at another. "Well, my wife and I are trying something new. Thought we give this place a shot."

"Where you from?"

"Jersey." Carisi answers, quickly. "Names Billy and this is my wife Jess."

"You two got any of your own?"

Carisi laughs. "Well, we wouldn't be here if we did."

"Right." The dirty man fake laughs, still looking at them suspiciously. "Well, you looking for anything specific?"

"Yeah. Between six and ten. Got any of those? We want one we can break in."

The dirty man laughs again. "Yeah. Got plenty of those. The bidding doesn't start till a little later, but since you're new I can sneak you a peak."

Michelle jumps, slightly, with excitement. "Can we?" She asks Carisi, playing the part.

Carisi smiles back at her, grabbing her hand. "Of course we can."

"Come upstairs." They follow the dirty man up the stairs. From the van, Olivia, Amanda, and Fin are watching and listening closely to any sign of Lauren. He takes them down the end of the hall, and opens the door revealing about twenty girls from all ages. Most of them are blonde.

"Please tell me we are taking these people down?" Fin asks.

"See anything you like?" The dirty man asks.

Carisi and Michelle look around the room, but they don't see Lauren. "This is all of them?" Carisi asks.

"For tonight. Yeah." Carisi looks at Michelle and she frowns. "What?"

"Well, my wife really wanted a brunette. Most of these girls are blonde and are way too tall."

"Well, this is what we have tonight. Try again another night." The dirty man pushes them out of the room, shutting, and locking the door behind him.

"He knows something, Carisi. We are going in." Amanda says in the mic. They run out of the van and go into the house, weapons pointed. If they have to save all these girls to get to their one, then so be it. They are on the right track. Olivia could feel it. 

* * *

In the interrogation room, at the precinct, Amanda and Fin are walking back and forth around the dirty man, who they learn is named David. McGuire had mentioned in one of their interrogations that David is the one who does most of the hosting when it comes to selling the girls.

Amanda slams down a picture of Lauren and a picture of Ashley. "Where are they?" She demands.

David looks at the pictures and widens his eyes, but quickly moves back. "I don't know them." He lies.

Fin come around him and smacks him in his head. "We know you know them, moron. She came to you for help." He says, pointing to Ashley. "Where's she keeping Lauren?"

"You are already going away for life for every girl that was in that room. So, tell us where they are." Amanda tells him.

David takes a deep breath. "She came to me wanting a place to put the girl. I gave her a place for a few days. She moved on. I don't know anything else."

"I think you know a lot more than you're telling. Where did she go?" Fin asks.

Olivia and her squad are gathered in Olivia's office.

"The warehouse where we found Johnny D and those girls." Olivia states. She was scared on how they are going to find Lauren. These people who were involved with Johnny D are dangerous, and never stopped working the 'business.' She's the biological daughter of a serial rapist, and a foster daughter to a detective. There's no telling what kind of condition they would put her in.

"Johnny D's dead. The place has already been raided once. They think it can't happen again." Fin tells them.

"Well, they're wrong. What are we waiting for?" Carisi asks.

Amanda walks in. "Some of the girls have seen Lauren. Only for a few minutes, though."

"How was she?" Olivia asks.

Amanda shakes her head, sadly. "Not good."

"And, again, I ask, what are we waiting for?" Carisi asks, again. 

* * *

At the warehouse, Ashley is walking back and forth on the phone.

"Why won't you answer!?" She yells into the phone. She's been trying to get in touch with David since they got to the warehouse. He was supposed to meet them after the bidding party with the money he earned. They were going to go some place farther, out of New York, so they can't be found. They had no intentions of selling Lauren. They want to keep her for themselves, earning money when need be. They only got three hundred from earlier because Lauren fought him, and that earned Lauren a consequence of her own.

Lauren is sitting in the small closet Ashley put her in as soon as they got to the abandoned warehouse. She could barely move because of not only the abuse she endured from that man in the room, but also the abuse she endured afterwards. This time there was no hiding the bruises. They beat her until she couldn't move. Bruises have formed across her cheek, her eyes, cuts, and dried blood have made their way down her body. Her once clean uniform was now dyed with her blood. She was sure a few ribs were broken considering the amount of pain she was in when she tried moving. She tried to fight them off. She scratched and punched, but her little fist were no match for the big ones coming at her.

She gave up. 

* * *

Outside of the warehouse, Olivia and the squad, along with a few armed police, are standing along the building waiting to make their way in.

"We have to be cautious. We have no idea what kind of state she is in, and we don't want to put Lauren in more danger. Be aware of your surroundings. There might be others in there." Olivia tells them. "Let's go."

One by one, they follow each other through the warehouse; weapons pointed as they check each room. All is clear until they reach the end of the warehouse. They hear mumbles of just one voice. Ashley. She's talking to herself. Fin and Carisi step in front of Olivia, signaling for her to stand back. Ashley's back is turned when they walk in.

"Put your hands up." Carisi yells as he and Fin point their guns at Ashley.

"Put them up!" Fin yells.

Ashley starts laughing. She turns around to face them, and pulls out the gun she has hidden in her pants. "Or what? You'll shoot?"

"Put the gun down on the floor, and put your hands up."

Ashley points to the closed door that Lauren is behind. "Put yours down, or I shoot. And I think you know who is behind that door that I'll be shooting. Do you want to take that chance?"

"Just put it down, Ashley. You don't want this." Carisi tries to reason.

"No. What I want is to get my money and leave this place. That brat ruined my career and she's going to pay me back." Ashley goes to shoot the trigger, but she is down before she can pull it.

Carisi and Fin turn around and find Olivia and Amanda looking back at them. Amanda puts her gun down, and looks at her work. Olivia runs to the closet and takes a deep breath before opening it. Lauren is leaning against the wall, holding the picture of Olivia and Noah in her hand. Her eyes are closed, and she doesn't even flinch when Olivia opens the door. "Lauren." Olivia breathes out, relieved. She bends down, checking Lauren's pulse. "Lauren, baby. Open your eyes." Olivia says, as she begins to cry.

"Call a bus!" Fin yells.

"Lauren. It's me. Olivia." Lauren slowly prys her green eyes open, squinting to see Olivia kneeling in front of her.

"Mommy?" She whispers.

Olivia smiles as the tears continue to fall. "Yes. Yes." Olivia smiles, happily, as she cries harder, happy to see Lauren is awake. Tears begin to fall from Lauren's eyes at the sound of Olivia's voice.

Is this real? Is she dreaming? Did Olivia really find her?

Olivia lifts Lauren into her arms and holds her close to her body. Not caring about the blood that is now covering her arms and clothes. She starts crying into Lauren, kissing her around her face. She found her.

Feeling the familiar touch of Olivia's arms around her. The love radiating through her from the embrace and kisses Olivia is giving her. 

Yeah. She found her. 

* * *

At the hospital, Lauren's room is filled with doctors and nurses who are surrounding her to assessed her wounds. Olivia walks out of the hospital room, rubbing her fingers through her hair, clearly looking disheveled from the last four days.

"How's she doing?" Amanda asks, as she, Fin, and Carisi walk over.

Olivia shakes her head, trying not to cry for the hundredth time since finding Lauren. "Honestly, how's she still breathing, I'm not sure. They-They-" Olivia stutters, finding it difficult to find the words. "They beat her so badly that she is has two broken ribs, lacerations from her head down to her legs, a sprained wrist, and bruises are covering every inch of her small body." Olivia explains, letting the tears that were fighting to escape to finally fall.

The whole squad, right about now, are also trying to hold back their tears. Lauren over the month of knowing her has become their family. She's more of a niece than their own blood family. And seeing their niece in this condition is enough for them to want to kill the people that have done this to her. Thankfully, Amanda took down the main one.

"I hate to ask this, Liv, but was she-" Fin couldn't find it in him to finish his sentence, but Olivia knows exactly what he is asking.

Olivia nods. "They are doing the rape kit now. They had to sedate her. I should get back in there."

"We'll interview the others we arrested and talk to the girls we found. They are going down, Liv."

"And, right now, let us handle all of this. You just take care of that little girl in there." Carisi tells her, as Amanda and Fin nod in agreement. Olivia tries to muster up a smile before heading back into the room. 

* * *

A few hours go by, and Olivia is sitting in a chair next to Lauren's bed. Her head is resting on the bed as she holds Lauren's hand while she sleeps. Knowing Lauren is finally safe and with her, it was now easier for her to sleep considering it's been almost four days since she's got more than three hours. Lauren hasn't woken up, yet, from her sedation. They found traces of semen around the vaginal area, and bruising between her thighs indicating rape. Olivia felt like someone knocked the breath out of her after they explained all of Lauren's injuries. Sure, Lauren's been through something like this before. Abuse and rape from foster parents. But nothing like this. The doctors explained the traumatic stress Lauren will be under for awhile, but that is something Olivia had experience in, and is ready for.

Even though she didn't have the damage Lauren has, Olivia understands how it feels to be kidnapped and tortured for multiple days; bringing her back to her memories of William Lewis. She would never wish her injuries and memories on anyone, so she's devastated that now her daughter will share those same memories with her.

"Livia.." Lauren says, very quietly, but loud enough for Olivia to hear her.

Olivia jumps up from her seat, and is surprised to see Lauren awake so soon. "Hi, baby." Olivia smiles. "You're awake."

"You're here." Lauren says, sounding very weak.

Olivia sits on the edge of Lauren's bed, and gently brushes her fingers through Lauren's hair. "Of course I am."

"I told her you would save me."

"I never stopped looking for you." Olivia takes out the torn picture of Lauren and shows her. "And this never left my side."

Lauren smiles. "You found it."

Olivia takes the other half out of her pocket that she found Lauren holding. "And now we're together again. I promise you are safe now. No one is ever going to hurt you or take you from me ever again."

"Please don't leave." Lauren says, after a few minutes of silence. She begins to cry at not only the thought of being alone, but from her injuries.

Olivia quickly lays on the side Lauren, gently pulling her close, careful not to disturb Lauren's broke ribs. "I am not going anywhere. I am staying right here. You are going to be so tired of me, you might just be begging Amanda to take you home." She jokes, lightly, as she wraps her arm around Lauren who sinks in deeper into Olivia's side, crying quietly into her. 

"Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting.. -Peter Pan"


	9. Stone Cold

_Lauren is sitting in the corner of the room, huddled up, her knees to her chest, leaning against the wall. The strange man left not too long ago, leaving her drenched in his sweat and her blood. She fought. She fought really hard to get away, but he was strong. All her memories of her past foster homes came back to her while he was laying on top of her. She was promised that this would never happen to her again. That no one was ever going to hurt her. But there she was, under that man. It happened again. And it was going to continue to happen. It's never going to stop._

 _Lauren jumps slightly at the bedroom door opening again. She looks up from behind her hair, that's hanging in her face, at the dirty man and Ashley walking in._

 _"I told you to behave." He snaps at Lauren as he approaches her._

 _"We only got half of the money because of you." Ashley says, standing near the door with her arms crossed, looking annoyed._

 _"She's going to learn her lesson after this." David grabs Lauren by her hair and drags her out of the room passed a smiling Ashley._

 _It's never going to stop._

"Lauren. Lauren." Lauren jumps, hearing her name. She turns her head to see Olivia sitting on her hospital bed, looking at her with so much worry in her eyes. Since being in the hospital for two days, the look of worry and sadness has never left Olivia's face. Lauren would zone out for awhile, scaring Olivia because she couldn't get her attention. "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

Lauren tries to give Olivia a reassuring smile, and nods her head. "When can I go home?" She asks, softly.

"As soon as they finish drawing up your discharge papers. Amanda is bringing some clothes for you to change in. So, she should be here soon. Do you want to try sitting up?" Olivia asks. Lauren nods. She sits up slowly, with Olivia's help, and rests against the pillows. "How are you feeling?" Lauren simply shrugs, not feeling up to answering that question.

Before Olivia can say anything else, Amanda walks in holding a bag of clothes. "I come baring clothes that aren't gowns." She jokes as she walks closer.

Lauren gives her a small smile. "Thanks, Amanda." Olivia says, gratefully. "Alright. I'm going to go check on those discharge papers. I'll be right back." Since Lauren woke up, she hadn't wanted Olivia to leave her side, and Olivia never once argued about it. She only left the room a few times, and that was to shower while Lauren was sleeping.

Lauren nods as Olivia kisses her on her forehead. "I got her, Liv. Don't worry." Amanda smiles. Olivia walks out, leaving the two. "How you feeling, hun?" Amanda asks.

"I'm ready to get out of here." Lauren admits.

Amanda laughs. "Yeah. Hospitals aren't my favorite places either." Lauren starts to sit further up. It was sometimes difficult with her bandaged ribs, but she fought through it, even though Olivia and anyone else who was around could see how much pain Lauren was truly in. "Well, I got you some clothes." Amanda says.

Lauren looks in the bag and gives her first genuine smile since being admitted. Amanda brought Olivia's NYC sweatshirt, Lauren would wear all the time, that fit like a dress, and a pair of leggings. "Can you help me?" Lauren asks her.

"I sure can." Amanda starts helping Lauren take the hospital gown off and gently slips the sweatshirt over her face. Lauren was able to manuever the leggings on with her good arm. She looks down almost feeling like her old self again. She was stuck in a dirty uniform for almost four days, Lauren wasn't sure if she would be able to wear it again, which was going to be difficult to do once she went back to school. Amanda helps Lauren lay back in bed while they wait for Olivia to come back. "So, how are you really feeling?" Amanda asks.

Lauren shrugs, unable to answer that same question again. "Carisi told me what you did." Lauren tells her, sounding far more like an adult than any ten year-old should. "Thank you."

Amanda grabs Lauren's hand. "I'd do anything for you. We all would." She says, sternly. "But Carisi shouldn't have told you that."

"He only told me cause I asked." Lauren says, defending Carisi.

Amanda rolls her eyes, playfully, knowing Carisi can never say no to this beautiful child in front of her. None of them can. "I'm guessing Olivia wasn't in here when he told you." She asks, sounding as if she was having a normal conversation with an adult rather than a child. Lauren is and sounded more mature than she should be. Amanda misses the days when she'd catch Lauren slipping into an immature ten year-old with no worries of her past, and only looking towards her future. Now, looking at this ten year-old in front of her, who is still smaller than an average girl her age, but more grown up than some adults, who will have scars with memories of the abuse she endured for half her childhood. Bruises that will eventually fade, but for now will be there when she looks into the mirror. She will never be a normal ten year-old. No matter how hard they all try to help her overcome this trauma. It will always be there.

"He kicked her out." Lauren smiles, thinking about the struggle Olivia put up, threatening Carisi's job.

Amanda laughs and rubs Lauren's bruised arm. "We're here for you, babe." She says, gently. Lauren smiles slightly, holding back her tears as she looks at Amanda. 

* * *

Lauren is sitting in the wheelchair while a nurse wheels her out of the hospital. Olivia is walking right by her side, holding a bag full of cards and gifts people brought during their stay. Lauren was ready to be home. Though, Lucy brought Noah to visit her everyday, Lauren was ready to be home with him all day, everyday. She missed him, and needed to make sure he's safe. Even though she wasn't sure how safe she could keep him because she couldn't even keep her own self safe.

As they get closer to Olivia's car, another nurse opens the back door, but Lauren doesn't see the nurse; she sees Ashley.

Lauren gasps and grabs Olivia's hand, pulling her back. Olivia quickly gets in front of her. "Lauren, what's wrong?!" She panics.

"She's here. She's here." Lauren repeats, trying to look behind Olivia, but she's blocking her view.

Olivia grabs onto Lauren's arms to keep her still. "Who, baby? Who's here?"

"Ashley."

Olivia looks behind her to find a confused nurse, still standing by the car. She turns back to Lauren and gently rubs Lauren's cheek. "That's just the nurse, Lauren." Lauren's eyes are still wide with fear. "See." Olivia moves away, and Lauren sees the nurse, not Ashley. "See, baby. It's the nurse."

Tears have fallen from Lauren's eyes as she looks back Olivia. "Can we go home?"

Olivia sighs. "Yeah. Let's go home." She grabs Lauren's hand and leads her to the car, slowly. 

* * *

On their way home, Olivia keeps glancing in the rear view mirror at Lauren in the backseat. Her head is resting against the window, feeling the coolness on her forehead. She's drifting in and out of sleep, fighting to keep her eyes open, but Olivia can also tell that she's in deep thought. A memory she doesn't want to be pulled into if she closes her eyes.

Fortunately, sleep did take over and Lauren ended up closing her eyes until Olivia parked the car and was picking Lauren up out of the backseat. She woke up, but continued resting her head on Olivia's shoulder as she carried her up to their apartment. Olivia couldn't be more grateful that Lauren is as light as she is. She did not want Lauren walking around much with her broken ribs, let alone walking up stairs. 

* * *

Once inside, Olivia settled Lauren on the couch before walking to the back to greet Lucy and Noah to let them know that they are home. It didn't take too long for Noah to find his sister and sit down beside her. Lauren looks over and smiles, softly, at her little brother. He has a book in his lap and is simply just turning the pages quietly; only wanting to be near Lauren and nothing else. Lucy said her goodbyes not soon after, giving Lauren a gentle kiss on top of her head as she walked by, leaving the family alone.

Sleep eventually won over and Lauren and Noah were both passed out, sitting up, next to one another. And not wanting Noah to hit Lauren in his sleep, like he usually would, accidentally, of course, Olivia brought Noah into his room and came back to gently lay Lauren down on the couch. She wanted to move Lauren to her bed, but was afraid to wake her up, and all Lauren really needed lately was rest and sleep. Two of the things she has barely been getting due to nightmares.

 _The closet door opens once again, and Lauren is being thrown into it. All her life closets were her safe place and now it seemed Ashley wanted to make sure they never felt safe again._

 _"Next time, don't disappoint. Or it's just going to be worse than before." Ashley tells hers, as Lauren huddles the best that she possibly could against the corner of the wall, wanting to believe Ashley or David wouldn't be able to reach her. "You ruined everything for me, and now I'm making sure everything is ruined for you. You were born into this, and now I'm going to make sure you stay in it. Once an orphan, always an orphan."_

 _The door slams.._

Lauren jumps awake, breathing rapidly as she looks around seeing that she is back with Olivia, not in the closet. Olivia runs in from the kitchen, after seeing Lauren jump up. Lauren still looked at little out of it when Olivia kneels down in front of her.

"Lauren, are you okay?" Olivia asks, looking worried. Lauren looks at Olivia, then she looks down at her stomach, then back at Olivia. "Are your ribs hurting you, sweetheart? Hold on. I'm going get your pain meds." Olivia hurries to the kitchen and grabs the pills and a bottle of water. When she makes it back, she can faintly hear Lauren repeating something under her breath. As she gets closer to hear Lauren, she can hear her repeat: Once an orphan, always an orphan. "Lauren."

"Once an orphan, always an orphan, Once an orphan, always an orphan." Lauren continues to repeat.

Olivia sits on the couch and gently picks up Lauren and places her on her lap. She hugs her close while she continues to listen to Lauren repeat those dreadful words, letting a single tear fall down her cheek. 

* * *

The next morning, Olivia opened her eyes to find herself still on the couch. She looks at her watch and sees that it's seven in the morning. She remembers holding Lauren in her arms, but now she's alone. So, curiosity takes over and Olivia sets out to find her daughter. She checks on Noah first, and sees that he is still sleeping, but she knows he'll be up soon. She then walks across the hall into Lauren's room, but doesn't see Lauren anywhere in the room. Lauren's bathroom door is cracked open, and Olivia prays Lauren is in there.

Lauren is staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. She has the bandages from her ribs off and she is staring at the bruises along her stomach. Lauren didn't even notice that Olivia opened the door and was now watching her.

"Lauren?" Olivia finally says, after a few seconds of watching her. Lauren jumps a little at the sound of Olivia's voice and looks at her through the mirror. "Hey. When did you wake up?" She asks, walking closer and sits down on the toilet, gently pulling Lauren away from the mirror and in front of her. Lauren looks exhausted. The bags under her eyes are bigger than the day Olivia found her in that closet. "Did you sleep at all?" Lauren shakes her head. "Oh, sweetheart." Olivia says, rubbing her hand up and down Lauren's arm. She then remembers seeing Lauren looking at herself. "Do your ribs hurt?" Lauren looks down at her now covered stomach, but she doesn't say anything. "Come on." Olivia gently picks Lauren up and brings her back into the bedroom. She stands Lauren up by her bed, and grabs another bandage. "Lift your sweatshirt. We need to wrap your ribs again. It's going to hurt, okay?" Lauren simply nods and lifts her shirt, letting Olivia wrap the bandages around her waist. "You know, I was kidnapped once." Lauren's eyes widen at Olivia's surprising confession. "And I would like to explain, but I first want you to get some sleep."

"I can't." Lauren says, quietly.

Olivia stands back up and pulls Lauren's covers from her bed back. "I am going to give you your pain killers. That should help with your pain and also help you sleep. You need your rest, sweetheart. And, if you need me, I'll be right in the next room. Come on." Lauren huffs and crawls under while Olivia goes into the kitchen and grabs a glass of water and one of Lauren's pills. She comes back in and hands them over to Lauren. "Now, sleep."

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?" Lauren asks.

"Of course." Olivia crawls on the side of Lauren and lays down, letting Lauren sink into her side.

Olivia prays for the day that this will all be behind them. She prays for the day Lauren can finally have peace of mind and live without being afraid. She prays for the day they can finally make everything official and she can hear that beautiful word her little girl is so desperate to say. Mom.

She prays to finally be a family. 

* * *

A few hours went by and even through the tossing and turning, Lauren was able to sleep. Olivia almost fell asleep with her until Noah came into the room. So Olivia got up and went spend some much needed time with her son.

"I just need a professional's opinion at this point." Olivia says, over the phone as she stands in the kitchen. Noah was occupied with a movie on the tv, so Olivia took this opportunity to call Dr. Huang in hopes to get him to fly to New York to talk to Lauren. Lauren steps into her view. "Thank you. I'll see you then." Olivia hangs up and walks over to Lauren. "Hey, sweetheart. How'd you sleep?" Olivia asks. Lauren just shrugs. Olivia sighs and rubs her hand across Lauren's cheek, gently. She frowns feeling the heat coming off of her Lauren, probably due to a nightmare. "I'm going to fix you some food, okay?" Lauren goes to argue, but Olivia stops her. "No arguments. You need to eat. Noah's in the living room watching a movie, if you want to go in there with him." Lauren sighs and turns around, heading to the living room to be with her brother. 

* * *

_"You're ours now. You were never going to be adopted. I knew that." Lauren is sitting in the closet, listening to Ashley. The door is open, and she is watching Ashley get ready for something. It's day two and still no sign of anyone looking for her, and Ashley reminded her of that every chance she got. "Olivia just wanted you to keep her son happy. You were just entertainment. But, don't worry, you are going to make that useful here. That entertainment will make us money. Money I lost because of you." Ashley says, glaring at Lauren who is huddled in the closet. Ashley walks over to the closet and looks down at Lauren. "Just remember, you're still here because no one wants you. No one will ever want you." Ashley slams the door.._

Lauren jumps at the calling of her name. She looks up to see Olivia, Carisi, and Amanda standing in front of her and Fin sitting beside Noah, while Noah is showing him a toy, but she can still Fin looking at her like the others.

"Hey. Look who came to visit you." Olivia tells her.

"Hey, kid. How are you feeling?" Amanda asks.

Lauren just shrugs and notices that Carisi is holding a soccer ball. Carisi walks closer and kneels down on the side of her. "Look. I got you this. I heard that you don't even have a soccer ball yet, so I figured you could practice with this until you can play again." He places the soccer ball on her lap and they watch as Lauren just looks at it. "We can kick it around once you're feeling better."

After a few moments of just looking at the ball, Lauren looks at Carisi. "Thank you. But I'm not going to be playing."

"Yeah. But one day you will." Carisi assures her.

Lauren shakes her head. "Give it to someone who can play with it." Lauren hands it back, and Carisi reluctantly takes it back, but he sets it on the floor knowing Lauren will eventually be grateful that he left it for her. He stands back up and he, Olivia, and Amanda glance at one another. Olivia was unsure what was going on with Lauren. She has been distant since she woke up. She only ate a few bites of the soup Olivia made for her, and would only really communicate with her brother.

Little did Olivia know, though, was that when Lauren woke up earlier from her nap, she overheard Olivia on the phone. She wasn't sure who she was speaking to, but the only words she could really process from the one-sided conversation she was hearing, was that Olivia needed help. She needed help with her. Was she that hard to care for right now? Was she really too much handle? Was Ashley right, that no one really wants her, and that she's just there to entertain Noah? All these questions were running through her head, and she was starting to be unsure of herself, and who she could trust. Maybe she was better off with Ashley. She did say that she wasn't meant for this life. Her biological mother and father were people like Ashley and the dirty strange man. So, maybe she is destined to be just like them.

All these thoughts running through her head were starting to give her a headache. She could feel all eyes on her, and they could all sense Lauren was deep in thoughts that she was having trouble coming out of.

Amanda bends down in front of Lauren. "Hey, hun."

Lauren looks up at Amanda with a look of confusion on her face. "You shouldn't have killed her." She whispers, causing them to all look at her uncertain if they heard her correctly.

"What?" Amanda asks, quietly.

"You shouldn't have killed her." Lauren repeats.

Amanda stands back up and looks at Olivia who is looking equally confused. Just yesterday Lauren was thanking her for shooting Amanda. For saving her.

"Hey, little man. How about you show me and Carisi those toys in your room?" Fin asks Noah.

Noah nods and sets out to his room with Fin and Carisi following him, giving Olivia and Amanda alone time with Lauren.

"Honey, why would you say that?" Amanda asks Lauren right away.

Lauren looks away. Olivia sits down next to her on the couch. "No, Lauren. Don't pull away from us. Tell us why you said that." She pushes, not wanting Lauren to shut them out.

Lauren shakes her head, and shuts her eyes tightly. "I don't want to talk." She tells them. Her breathing becomes more rapid as she tries to block them out, and block the memories that are trying to squeeze their way in. Panic starts to consume her.

"Lauren, just breathe." Amanda tells her, calmly. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Just talk to us, sweetheart." Olivia goes to touch Lauren's arm, but she pulls away.

"No! Stop! Don't touch me!" She yells. Olivia jumps slightly at the sudden outburst, and the look of almost hatred Lauren was giving her as tears ran down the girl's red cheeks.

"Lauren.." Olivia says, gently.

"No!" Lauren covers her ears and looks at Amanda. "Help me." She says, desperately.

Amanda grabs Lauren's arms, and is surprised when Lauren jumps into her arms. "Okay. Okay." Amanda says, quickly, trying to calm her. She looks at Olivia who is just staring down at Lauren, with a look of hurt in her eyes.

"Once an orphan, always an orphan. Once an orphan, always an orphan." Amanda hears Lauren whisper this to herself as she cries silently into Amanda's shoulder.

Olivia wanted to grab her and hold her, reassuring her that she was okay. But she wasn't sure herself if Lauren really was. She didn't want Olivia touching her. It was almost if she thought Olivia was going to hurt her. But watching her jump into Amanda's arms, was enough for Olivia. She was glad her friend was a comfort to Lauren, but why not her? What did she do? 

* * *

Amanda walks out of Lauren's room after bringing her in there in hopes of getting something out of her, but Lauren just fell silent and turned her back on her. Olivia is still sitting on the couch, looking hurt and confused.

"Liv, don't take it personally." Amanda says when she walks into the living room.

Olivia scoffs. "How can I not take that personally? She thinks I'm going to hurt her. This morning she was asking me to stay with her while she slept, and then now she doesn't even want me to touch her. What happened between then and now?"

Amanda shakes her head. "I don't know. Hopefully you'll be able to get something out of her later. She's not even speaking to me anymore. Did she say anything before we came over?"

"No." Olivia says, thinking. "She woke up while I was on the phone with George, and then went watch t.v. with Noah."

"Maybe she had a bad dream?" Amanda guesses.

"Maybe." Olivia says. "She's been zoning out a lot. Jeez. She's just ten years-old, Amanda. She shouldn't be going through this."

"I agree. And she's growing fast because of it." Amanda can see Olivia growing more frustrated. "Look, Liv, you said you spoke to George earlier. Maybe he can give you a sense of what's going on and then you can finally get to the bottom of it and help her. She's still recovering, you know that. And you also know how she is feeling."

Olivia sighs, remembering just this morning she told Lauren that she was kidnapped before without getting into further details, promising to tell her if she slept. Now, Olivia wonders if now is the best time to explain what happened to her.

"I told her this morning before I put her down for a nap about Lewis-well, I didn't go into details. I promised her if she slept that I'd tell her."

"That's good!" Amanda assures her. "I wouldn't go into details about everything, but I'd explain how you were feeling during and after."

Olivia lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, and falls back onto the couch. "Thanks, Amanda. Even if she never comes to me again, I'm glad she feels comfortable enough to go to you."

Amanda smiles, softly. "Trust me when I say this: that little girl loves you so much. She'll get through this. You both will." 

* * *

After Amanda and the guys left, Olivia decided to continue giving Lauren some time by herself. So, she went hang out with Noah for a little bit. They read books and watched a movie before she put him to bed. It was now close to nine and Olivia still hadn't heard anything from Lauren. She walks to her bedroom, putting her ear against the door hoping to hear something, but it's silent on the other side. Olivia slowly opens the door and sees Lauren laying on her side, with her back facing the door.

"Lauren?" Olivia calls out, quietly. But Lauren doesn't move. Olivia knows she isn't sleeping, though. That's barely something Lauren did since being back unless she was forced to. Olivia walks over and gently lays down next to her. She takes a deep breath before speaking. "It happened four years ago. Amanda brought this guy in for being-well he did something he shouldn't have done." Olivia says, deciding not to tell Lauren exactly what happened. She didn't care what Lauren experienced; she's still ten years-old. "It turns out that he killed a lot of people through the years and was never sentenced. Unfortunately, he won over the court system again and was out free. During the time he had spent with us at the precinct, he took an interest of me. Probably because I refused to feel intimidated by him and that made him very angry. My captain at the time gave me a couple days off, and when I got home he was in my old apartment. He did a lot of bad things to me for hours, and before anyone came to find me, I was gone. We drove for a long time while I was handcuffed on the floor of the backseat. We stopped at a couple places. He went on hurting more people during our travels until he eventually stopped at an empty beach house. I was handcuffed to an old iron bed. I was so scared even though I didn't show it in front of him. And that only made him angrier, but I wasn't giving in. I knew if I did then I was not going to survive. I won't go into details about everything that happened in-between because there is no need, but while he was out of the room I was able to loosen the bar free, and when he came back into the room I beat him until he couldn't get back up." Olivia didn't want to leave that out. She needed Lauren to know how she fought to survive. That she never gave up. "Not too long after, I was rescued and he was put into prison. Months went by and he broke out. I won't go into those details, but I will tell you that he is gone now. I wish I knew what was going on in that head of yours, sweetheart. I wish you would tell me what I did to upset you so that I can fix it. But I told you all this because I need you to know that I've been there. It may not have been the exact experiences, but know that I have felt exactly how you are feeling right now. Lost. Broken. Afraid. But, you have something, or rather someone, I didn't have: me. I'm here for you, babe. When you're ready, I'm here. I love you, Lauren." Olivia kisses Lauren on the back of her head and is glad when she doesn't feel Lauren flinch away. "If you need me, you know where to find me. We are going to the precinct in the morning, so get some sleep." Olivia stands up and reluctantly walks out of Lauren's bedroom, closing the door, leaving it slightly ajar.

Lauren doesn't move from her spot, but her eyes are wide open and she is taking in everything Olivia just told her. Most ten year-old's wouldn't understand anything Olivia just told them. But like everyone already knows, Lauren isn't most ten year-old's. She knows more words than any kid her age. The amount of books, besides her own life experiences, has helped her to understand this life better than most adults. And besides the kids she's met through her time in foster care, Olivia is the only adult who really does know how she is feeling. Lauren feels bad for how she treated Olivia earlier, but the thoughts of being too much were still lingering in the back of her mind making it difficult to want to run to Olivia, no matter how much she tried.

But while Lauren contemplated on what to do, Olivia was sitting outside Lauren's bedroom door hoping Lauren would follow. Tears were streaming down her eyes as she thought about how much Lauren was hurting and there was nothing she could do about it until Lauren was ready for her to. Besides her therapist, Lauren is the only person she has ever really told her story to willingly. But she'd do anything for that little girl in there.

Anything.


	10. Healing Begins

The night didn't go as expected for Olivia or Lauren. As much as Lauren wanted to run into Olivia's bed in the middle of the night, she stood her ground and stayed in her bed, staying up most of the night afraid to close her eyes. Olivia was half expecting to see Lauren, but she was surprised that Lauren decided to be the most stubborn little girl in New York and stay in her room. But Olivia slept on the couch just in case Lauren needed her.

Lucy came early to take care of Noah while Olivia and Lauren went over to the precinct. Lauren still hadn't spoken to Olivia. Olivia went in to Lauren's room that morning expecting to have to wake her up, but Lauren had remembered that Olivia told her that they were going to the precinct. So, not being able to sleep, Lauren had got up and got herself ready for the day. Olivia did most of the talking while Lauren just stood around her. There was so much Lauren wanted to say, but not only did she have that thought of being too much to handle hanging in the back of her mind; she also felt very embarrassed about how she had acted.

* * *

Lauren is sitting by herself, on the couch, in the kids room of the precinct. Olivia told her on the way there that Dr. Huang, or Dr George like Lauren calls him, wanted to talk to her. Lauren had no response, though. She simply followed Olivia where she was supposed to go and was now sitting, quietly, on the couch waiting for George to come in. Lauren wasn't sure what she was expecting when she arrived at the precinct. Fin and Carisi greeted her the way they always do when they see her, with a fist bump, and Amanda greeted her with a hug. Lauren really wanted to be herself, but she wasn't sure who that even was anymore.

George walks in and smiles softly at Lauren. "Hi, Lauren." Lauren gives him a quick smile as he sits down on the side of her. "It's been awhile since we last seen each other. How are you doing?" He asks. Lauren just shrugs. "I heard that you had quite the experience last week. I am so sorry that happened to you." He says, sincerely. George realizes he was going to have to dig deeper to get Lauren to speak to him. He spoke to Olivia before he came and she updated him on what happened the night before and that Lauren has grown silent since then. "Lauren, I remember the last time we met with each other you drew some really good pictures for me. Do you mind doing that again for me while I ask you some questions?" Lauren nods her head. "Great." George hands her some paper and gives her crayons. Since she has some broken ribs, George wanted her to be comfortable, so he didn't ask her to get down on the floor. Lauren just stares at the blank page while George asks his first question. "You've been with Olivia for over a month now. Do you like living with her still?" Lauren nods her head and begins to draw. "That's good. I know she loves having you there." He catches Lauren's quick glance before she continues drawing. "She told me that you got upset with her yesterday. Do you want to tell me what that was about?" Lauren shakes her head. "Remember when we talked last and I explained how much better you will feel when you let your feelings out? You'll feel a lot better if you tell me. I promise."

Lauren finally looks straight at George. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" George asks, quickly.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Lauren. You have a lot of people out there who are worried about you and just want you to feel better." Lauren looks back down and continues drawing. George lets out a breath, figuring he'd skip talking about yesterday for right now. "Lauren, how did you feel when you were away from Olivia?"

Lauren stops drawing, but she doesn't look up. "Scared."

"I bet you were. Do you want to tell me what scared you?"

"I was locked in a closet."

"Did you feel safe in there?" Lauren shakes her head.

"How come?"

"It was dark." Lauren says.

"Did you always stay in the closet?" George asks, already knowing the answer. Lauren shakes her head. "Where did you go?"

Lauren shrugs. "I moved to a different closet a lot." She tells him. "I didn't know where I was." George watches as a silent tears fall down Lauren's cheek as she remembers her time with Ashley. He hated to do this to her, but they were finally getting somewhere. She's finally speaking to him.

"Who would move you?"

Lauren is silent for a few minutes. "Ashley." She whispers.

"Lauren, did you talk to you when she moved you?" Lauren nods. "What would she say?"

Lauren shrugs. "She said a lot of mean things."

"Like what?"

Lauren looks at George. "I don't want to say." She says, desperately.

"Did she tell you that you were never going to see Olivia again?" He asks. Lauren nods. "And did she say that Olivia didn't care about you?" Lauren nods again letting a few more tears escape from her green eyes. "You know that's not true, right, Lauren?" Lauren doesn't answer. "Lauren?" George asks again. "You know that Olivia didn't stop looking for you, right?"

They are both quiet for awhile. George could tell that Lauren was thinking hard about something, and he decided to not speak again until Lauren decided to say something.

"I'm not supposed to be here." Lauren says so quietly that George had to really listen.

"What are you talking about, Lauren?" George asks in confusion.

"Ashley said that I was born to do what she was making me do because my real parents did it." Lauren lets out a quiet sob as she speaks. "She said that I am never going to be adopted because I am supposed to be making money for people. She said that 'Livia just wants me so I can keep Noah entertained." George didn't dare speak, afraid that if he did, Lauren would stop talking to him altogether. "She told me I'm supposed to grow up to be like them."

"What did she make you do, Lauren?" George asks, cautiously.

Now Lauren's face was drenched with her tears. George knew that Olivia was watching from behind the one way mirror and knowing her so well, he knew she was trying desperately not to go in and comfort Lauren.

"She-she- would lock me in a room with a man. He would do things to me like my old foster parents would do to me. I-I didn't want- want to do it." Lauren sobs. "I'd try to fight them away, but-but they were so strong. But, then-I stopped fighting."

"Why, Lauren?"

"Because the man with Ashley would beat me because I didn't make enough money for them." Lauren says with anger.

"They should have never done that you, Lauren. You know that, right?" George asks. Lauren just shrugs. "Lauren, what they did to you was very, very wrong, and what Ashley told you was very wrong, too. Olivia loves you very much."

Lauren shakes her head. "Once an orphan, always an orphan." She cries out.

"Lauren, who told you that?"

"Ashley." Lauren cries out more. "Once an orphan, always an orphan. Once an orphan, always an orphan." She continues to repeat over and over again. He lost her. There was nothing he could say to stop her. Moments later the door opens and Olivia runs in.

"Lauren." Olivia runs to her and kneels down in front of her. Lauren is covering her ears and repeating 'once an orphan, always an orphan,' ignoring Olivia's pleas to stop. She pulls away from Olivia, bringing her knees to her chest. "Lauren, please, stop." Olivia begs.

"Just send me back! I'm not supposed to be with you!" Lauren yells at Olivia.

"Yes, you are!" Olivia yells back. She sits on the couch and pulls Lauren to her, but Lauren is fighting against her, trying to get away, but Olivia is not letting go. She knows Lauren is probably hurting her ribs more, but that's something they'll have to take care of once Lauren finally calms down. Right now, all Olivia wanted to do was hold her and keep her still. "You're supposed to be with me, baby. I love you so much."

Lauren continues fighting against her. "I'm too much! I'm too much!" She repeats. Olivia and George look at one another.

"No, you're not, sweetheart! You are just enough." Olivia holds Lauren tighter. She has her arms wrapped around Lauren's arms to keep her from trying to pull away, and she has her sitting on her lap so she doesn't run. "You are enough. You are enough." Olivia repeats, quietly, into Lauren's ear as she rocks her back and forth while Lauren continues to repeat that she isn't enough. Olivia wonders where all this is coming from. She knows from Ashley, but they were fine in the hospital. Lauren wanted Olivia around, not taking her eyes off of her. But, now, Lauren was afraid to be with her. What triggered this?

While Olivia is trying to calm Lauren down, George grabs the picture that Lauren was drawing earlier, and takes a look at it. It's a picture of stick figures, but he could see that Lauren drew herself holding hands of two other people, and on the other side of the page is a picture of Olivia and Noah by themselves. In the middle of the pictures, Lauren wrote the word 'goodbye' as if she is telling Olivia and Noah goodbye. He shows Olivia the picture while she is still rocking a now quiet Lauren who is still crying into Olivia's arm. Olivia lets more of her own tears fall as she looks at the picture from afar, and she holds Lauren closer, unsure of how much closer they could get, but what she did know was that she was not going to let Lauren go. No matter how hard she tries to get away.

Lauren tired herself out from all the crying and fighting she was doing, that she fell asleep in Olivia's arms. Olivia did not want to let her go, so she held her for another thirty minutes before deciding to place her in her office, on the couch, while she talked to George.

"It's simple PTSD, Liv. What she experienced triggered it; not that it fully went away before, but it just built up more." George explains to Olivia as they sit in the squad room.

"But she was fine at the hospital. I don't understand. She was speaking to everyone. She didn't want me to leave her. And, now, she wants nothing to do with me." Olivia says with so much frustration. She isn't used to not being able to help people, or people not wanting her help. And, since it's her kid, it's even more frustrating not knowing what to do.

"This may not even be about you, Liv. Probably something she heard triggered a memory from her time away. We may never know until Lauren decides she wants to tell us. But, just know, there is something more than what she said in there. Lauren is very distraught about something."

"Then why is she pushing me away?"

"It's easier." George shrugs. "I wish I had a better explanation for you. I really do. But even I am little confused. A lot of damage was done while she was gone. And maybe she is pushing you away because she doesn't want you to know. She's afraid of being sent back, Olivia, and I don't think that's something that will be fixed by just telling her she isn't going anywhere. It was easy for Ashley to go to her school and simply tell her that you didn't want her anymore, and she took her. In her mind, that can happen again."

"What do I do?" Olivia asks.

"Don't let her push you away. I know I said this before, but make her believe she isn't going anywhere. How are the adoption papers coming?"

"They're still working on them."

"That may be the way to fix her."

Olivia take a deep breath. "I've never known how not to help."

George smiles. "It all changes when it becomes your daughter."

Olivia smiles back. "Daughter." She laughs, slightly, at the thought.

* * *

Olivia walks into her office and sits down on the coffee table, in front of the couch Lauren is sleeping on, and just stares at her little girl. Her little girl. In her heart Lauren is her little girl already. She just had to figure out a way for Lauren to believe that, too. Maybe George is right. Maybe the adoption papers are the only way of fixing her, but then again maybe not.

Even in her sleep, Lauren looks so lost, so innocent. How could anyone want to hurt her? Just hearing what Lauren said about those disgusting men touching her, and the abuse she endured from not only them, but from Ashley, the one person that she was supposed to be able to trust, almost made Olivia wish she was the one who pulled the trigger instead of Amanda.

Olivia decided while she was at the precinct, and now that Lauren was sleeping, she'd work on a little bit of paperwork for awhile just to let Lauren catch up on some sleep she knows she's been missing out on at night. She take a few glances up at Lauren and could see that she was uncomfortable which was mostly like due to the strain she put earlier on her ribs, plus whatever damage she is doing when she tries to grab her stomach with the splint that is covering her sprained wrist. Surprisingly, though, Lauren never fully woke up obviously more tired than anyone realized.

A couple hours later, it was nearly three and Olivia had to go relieve Lucy, who had been there since eight that morning to watch Noah. She wanted to carry Lauren down to the car and up to the apartment, but Lauren woke up and insisted, with little words, to walk herself. Olivia sighed to herself, but didn't fight her on it.

* * *

Once they got inside the apartment, Olivia took her coat off and helped Lauren with hers.

"The doctor said a warm bath should help with the soreness of your ribs. Go ahead and get in a bath, not a shower." Olivia says, sternly, knowing Lauren would try to sneak a shower instead because she hated sitting in bathtubs, but this time Lauren knew Olivia was right. She was sore. So, she obeyed and headed to her bathroom to get in the tub. "I'm just going to go check on Noah. I'll be in the check on you in a little bit." Olivia hears the bathroom door shut, and she sighs as she heads to Noah's room. When she walks in, she finds Lucy and Noah sitting on his floor, playing with his toys.

"Hey, Liv." Lucy smiles.

"Hey, Lucy. Thanks again for watching him so early and on a Saturday." Olivia says, bending down and kissing Noah on his forehead, gently.

Lucy waves her hand. "Don't worry about it. Whenever you need me, I'm here, you know that. Noah just woke up from his nap about an hour ago. We've just been playing in here. How did things go with Lauren?" She asks.

Olivia tickles Noah while he laughs. "She still isn't talking to me, but she had a small breakthrough."

"Well, that's good, right?"

Olivia shrugs, sadly. "I hope so."

* * *

Lucy and Olivia talked for another ten minutes about their day before Lucy decided to head out. Olivia left Noah to play in his room while she went to check on Lauren. The bathroom door was closed all the way, and before she knocked on the door, as she listened closely, she could hear faint crying coming from behind. Olivia knocks quickly, and opens the door, looking worried.

Lauren is sitting in the tub, her back resting against the side, her knees pulled up to her chest. She has a rag in her hands and is rubbing her arms and legs, roughly. Olivia could see that she was breaking skin. She runs to the side of the tub and tries to grab the rag out of Lauren's hands, but she pulls back with tears streaming down her face.

"No!" Lauren cries out.

"Lauren, stop it!" Olivia yells back, trying to breakthrough to Lauren. "Baby, you are rubbing your skin raw."

"I don't want to be them anymore!" Lauren yells.

Olivia successfully grabs the rag out of Lauren's hands and throws it aside. "Who, baby?"

"Them! I don't want to be them! They said that I'm like them. I don't want to be, Livia! I don't want to be!"

Olivia quickly unplugs the bath, shocked at how hot the water is, and reminds herself from now on to fix Lauren's bath water. She grabs a towel, and quickly picks Lauren up out the tub. "Okay. Okay. Shh. Shh." She says, in Lauren's ear as she holds a crying Lauren in her arms. "You're not like them, baby. You're nothing like them. I'm going to need you to believe that." Olivia says, desperately, letting her own tears fall. Lauren soon feel limp in Olivia's arm. This whole day, even after a nap, was just becoming too much for her. This last week was too much. Olivia wraps the towel tighter around Lauren's small frame and stands up with her. "Lets go get you into some clothes before you catch a cold." She walks into Lauren's bedroom and sits Lauren on her bed as she rummages through Lauren's closet to find some clothes. When Olivia turns back around she sees the color in Lauren's face turn completely pale. Lauren is staring at her closet, her eyes filled with fear. "Lauren, you're okay, sweetheart. Look at me." Olivia kneels down in front of her and forces her eyes away from the closet. "You're home with me." Olivia reminds her. Lauren doesn't say anything, though. She continues looking at Olivia. "Good. Just keep looking at me, sweetie. Let's wrap your ribs and get you dressed." After dressing Lauren in her favorite comfortable attire, New York sweatshirt and simple Capri black leggings, she carried a very worn out Lauren into the living room. She sat her down on the couch, and started to put ointment on the ripped skin Lauren was scrubbing on in the bathtub. Lauren seemed just out of it, and all Olivia wanted to do right now, after the long day they had, was just hold Lauren on her lap.

And so she did.

Lauren is laying with her head on Olivia's chest, while Olivia's arms are wrapped around her, rubbing her back, soothingly. Lauren is quietly playing with Olivia's necklace that reads 'fearless,' and although she was still feeling insecure about her relationship with Olivia, it was nice to just be safe in her arms again.

"Lauren, I just want to tell you how brave you are." Olivia smirks, sensing Lauren rolling her eyes. "You are very brave whether you want to believe it or not. But I see a little girl who has been through so much these last ten years, and so much these last two weeks, and she's still here. That proves that you can overcome anything that comes your way, and I wll be right by your side through every step of the way, even when you think you can't go anymore. I'll do it for you. I know right now you feel lost, and a little insecure on where you belong, but just know that you have me and your brother, and you have your squad family here for you. I'm not sure what you heard, or what scared you into this state, but whatever it was I promise it will be pass. You will overcome this, too. And, guess what, I'm here. I'm sitting right here, with you in my arms, holding you close, and that's how it will always be for as long as you let me. I am so immensely proud to have you in my life, Lauren. I know right now it seems like not everything is coming into place, but I'm trying my hardest to make everything run faster. It takes some time, and unfortunately some patience, and that is something that you and I don't have." Olivia laughs, softly. "You're not going anywhere, Lauren. If I have to tell you that every single day, all day, then I will. You are not where you come from, okay? You are who you choose to be. I love you so much." Olivia sighs into Lauren's damp hair and places a gentle kiss on top, hoping that Lauren heard every word.

Lauren heard every word. But as she played with the necklace hanging from Olivia's neck, she remembers the story Olivia told her about the time she was kidnapped.

"Did he hurt you?" Lauren asks in almost a whisper.

Olivia looked surprised at the sound of Lauren's voice. She wasn't expecting Lauren to speak the rest of the night, but she was confused by her question. "Who, baby?"

"The man that took you. Did he hurt you like they hurt me?" She asks, still playing with the necklace.

Olivia realizes Lauren is talking about Lewis. She's remembering the story Olivia told her about her own hostage situation, and she was silently wishing it would never come up again. That Lauren would have somehow forgot about it. But, who was she kidding, it's Lauren. Olivia takes a deep breath, praying that they won't have to go farther into this. She shakes her head and squeezes Lauren gently. "He didn't get the chance. He tried, but he wanted a fight, and I refused to give him that."

"Maybe I shouldn't have fought them." Lauren says, moments later.

Olivia closes her eyes, her heart breaking into pieces for the precious girl in her arms. "Do you want to talk about it?" Lauren quickly shakes her head, and tries to move away from Olivia, but Olivia holds her tight. "Okay. Okay. We don't have to. We don't have to." She says, hushing Lauren back to her chest. "We don't have to talk about it. I won't make you. I promise." Lauren lays her head back down and continues playing with Olivia's necklace. Suddenly, Noah runs into the room, in his pajamas, and a book in his hand. "Hey, little man." Olivia laughs as he jumps on the couch right beside her. She wraps her right arm around him, pulling him close to them. "What you got there?"

"Read a book." Noah says, showing them the book.

"How about a story?" Olivia asks Lauren, who simply nods her head. "Alright." Olivia grabs the book with the hand that is wrapped around her son. "Noah, can you help me turn the pages?" Noah nods, excitingly.

While Olivia begins to read, Lauren and Noah grab each other's hands with their free ones as the other plays with Olivia's necklace and turns a page. It didn't take long for them to fall asleep. Olivia was halfway done with the book when she looks down and sees Lauren sleeping soundly on her chest, her hand clutching Olivia's necklace, and Noah is asleep right under her arm. She sets the book aside and holds both her children close, grateful that the worst has passed, and the healing can begin.


End file.
